A Post in Green & Black

oh yes....
I will remember how very important it is to slow down,
recalibrate
and then put forth my energy into what I want to feed.

A simple equation:

feed it = it grows

Starve it = it dies

Feed what is good, what is going well

Starve negative thoughts

Feed your creativity

Starve those voices telling you what you can't do

Feed LOVE!

Starve FEAR!

Feed the beauty of the day!

Holding Light

For you...
lightness in the dark

Form Transforming

It is a beautiful thing to step back and watch an idea transform from a thought, an inspiration into something beautiful.

To realize the great potential we all have if we believe in our dreams, our hearts and our capabilities.

When something is right, it meets no resistance.

It grows and blossoms as a flower on a vine.

Today, I am truly grateful for the power of creativity and the gift of gratitude.

Pitter - Patter

Slowing down enough to hear the pitter-patter of my heart.
This is such a good thing.

Lost among the jewels

I am lost in lots of beautiful little jewels and projects at the moment.

I promise to return to share the lessons once I learn them.

Be liquid.

Magical Day

Today, I awoke knowing that it was my son's sixth birthday.

Full of mixed emotions, I helped get him ready for school and safely delivered him to kindergarten.

I had many moments of ..."six years ago, right now I was starting labor, six years ago right now, we called our midwife" and so on."

We ate scrambled eggs for breakfast as I did that morning. My wife made them for us as she did that morning and we only remembered as we sat at the "new" magical nook to eat them with our two, beautiful children that this had been my pre-birth breakfast.

A good friend said to me this morning, "congratulations, you've been a Mom for six years."

I hadn't thought about that part yet. What a blessed day. Look at how far we've come.

I am full of pride today and I vow to sit back and watch all of the magical moments that settle in upon us.

It is today especially that I realize what a big deal how you give birth is. The memory of that day hasn't faded at all for me. It was the most amazing day of my life and today I celebrate it for many, many reasons.

Back in the light

Why such a struggle?

The battle of the mind.

I would be ever so happy to stay here for a while in the light.

Glowing, prospering

Moving forward in TRUST

with an open heart.

I will take this moment and breathe it in while I can.

Oh, mind ...did spell breathe right?


that really is very funny, isn't it?

Interesting Twists

There are intersting twists and turns.

Bumps and falls

Returning to original positions

Bending Swaying

Morphing

Remembering the whole time that it is all like grains of sand falling through our fingers

Continually moving

changing so grandly that we can't possibly be aware of all that is moving around us.

Remember that old saying...if you do the best you can, that is all anyone can ask of you.

Doing it the best way I know how

with the most love and joy I can muster.

It rolls off and into the world like little beads of water dripping off of a glorious petal

Moving forward, wasting little time on regrets

and enjoying the shifts of interesting twists and turns and the cool breezes if only for a moment.

Going for it

recirculation

in....out
in....out
in....out

recirculate
regenerate
restore
revitalize
return

become fluid and whole
balanced
trusting
tuned in

begin

my own balance must be within me

learning to redirect energy

learning to recognize it's flow

learning our potential

sunset

Remember to enjoy the view...no matter where you are

Complete

I am sitting in this place reminding myself of how quickly things shift.
Feeling perspective and that warm fuzzy feeling of cherished memories.
With all of this living in the present moment business (which is REALLY, REALLY important) I have also had a nice little flood of memories reminding me how sweet my life has been from doing just that....being present. having a good time. doing things that bring me joy and that feel right. I have grown tremdously, as we all have. And looking back, I can see my innocence and also my need to be where I was, when I was there. This, is what allows me to trust exactly where I am right now.

I am sitting hear and in the silences between the typing I hear the cars roll by. The sound of the tires seems to sound different just because it is fall. The light is fading earlier. That cozy feeling creeps in...

opps, I must wake my sleeping daughter and go pick up my sweet son from school. I guess this post is complete.

Out of the Poo

It is always so nice to be out of the poo.

I am looking forward to a beautiful weekend.....

stuck in the poo

It will be interesting to see where this goes.
One of those.....
you know, "hard conversations"
they always come right about this time every month.

I can feel things shifting like the plates of the earth.

Hold on

That pull of the moon is serious business.

Melissa Etheridge and Salman Ahmad "Ring the Bells"
Uploaded by TakePart. - Explore more music videos.

I am thankful for a nice, HOT bath at the end of a wonderful day.
It won't be for a few hours yet but I anticipate it with glee.

Hoping everyone finds a way to end the day in bliss.

Sweet Dreams

*this is my official "fall" color. Hoping it encourages some cool weather to go with my HOT bath. Next week I may even incorporate a pumpkin spice candle and cinnamon tea to this ritual.

The gift I got from being open

I am thankful to my spirit for being open.
For remembering to listen.
To hearing the sweet words from my beautiful daughter.
As we lay in bed cuddling up for the evening. She said to me "Mommy, I want to be with you forever." Later in the conversation "I miss you when I'm at school." But she said it with a certain clarity and openess that I haven't felt from her before.

It is as if, in that moment my heart blew open into a million pieces.

Well then we will spend more time together I thought.
In that huge moment, I realized that this was my time to be with HER. As my son is getting settled into kindergarten, my little girl is reaching out for me in a way she never has before. With a tenderness that is just emerging. She seems to need me more. Wants to be held and rocked. As a baby she was so self-sufficient. I remember at a few months old she actually got hurt and cried with real need for comfort for the first time. I cried too, because I hadn't felt her really NEED me before. From birth she was so content. Crying for milk or when ready to sleep, but not needing to be held and rocked nearly as much as her brother. Her whole self seemed stronger, less fragile.

So, in this sweet moment at bedtime tears began rolling down my face. She needed me and There is time still. Unlike my 5 year old, she still has small traces of baby left. A little bit of round cheek, that ability to cuggle up tight.

Ohhhhhhhhh....yes.
This is OUR time.
She has waited so patiently for her brother to grow into his boyhood. He is happily exploring his independence and now I am available to her. To make up for that bonding that I had with him when there was no one else vying for my attention. I spent days with him, talking and exploring, getting to know him. She rode on my hip, nursed and laughed, but never had that one on one time, nor she she seem to need it. But now, she does. She wants time with me and I am fortunate enough to be able to provide it.

In that moment I realized that I have had time to take a breath with them both in school. Time to return to myself. I have regrouped from the insanity of having two little ones and here this gift presented itself, a little more time mothering in that very intimate way. I knew immedietly that I will be keeping her home an extra day a week and picking her up an hour earlier from school. We will parade around to playdates and parks together and get to know each other in that way. I felt this huge joy rise up in me. A small change of plans that I neither came up with or resisted.

She is ready and so I am I .
I am so grateful that I did not miss that moment or talk myself out of it.
My time as a mother to small children may be over soon but I am going to scoop this sweet girl up and savor her while I can. She is only 3 and I know how fast that will change.

My heart is so full and I am looking forward to getting to know her better.

Thank you for this opening.

It feels like I just unwrapped a magical gift.

It came in on the breeze

"We are the flow,
we are the ebb.
We are the weavers,
we are the web."

Happy Birthday Beautiful Boy

Happy Birthday to the little boy who welcomed me to his birth.

A beautiful day I will never forget!

This is for you sweet one.

Monday Perspective

Sometimes you just need to get some perspective.

Sit in your house in some quiet.

Clean the tub grout.

Fold some clothes.

Do some dishes.

Realize that there does come a point when your children need fresh pajamas, like, by fresh I mean new, fitting, seasonally appropriate pajamas.

and that their Mom's could use some fresh underware. By fresh I mean new, fitting, seasonally appropriate underware.

So, it is with great delight that I will feed that primal need within me to go to Target. With no children in tow..free to browse the bargin discount racks to score some crazy cheap thing I love. This must be the same feeling a hunter has when he has scored a huge animal that will feed his family and tribe for a week.

The need to provide an orderly home with things that make life flow well. Sometimes...new PJ's and underware are needed if only to sooth the Mama Bears instincts to take care of her family by providing a fresh score of berries that were hidden under some bush somewhere. As I write this I can not forget about a post by friend Rose who had this experience with Yarn last week over there at laughing monkey.

Let us not feel bad for the occasional need to bring things in.....it is about as real as the cycle of the moon....it is in our blood isn't it. That desire to hunt for treasure? Off I go.......

Moon Time

I am feeling a powerful moon upon us.

The anticipation is a force, swelling

waiting for the wave to reach shore

I can feel it rising up

sparkling in the sun

taking in the warmth

the gifts

of the sky

and holding them close to wash down over us.

I will stand,

arms outstretched

waiting for the power of the wave

keeping my feet firmly planted

ready to receive the force

the magic

the glory of it all.

Glow in Green

Oh, there is nothing like the new green that seems to jump and dance around after a good rain. What a glourious rainy afternoon.

Rise Up

Unexpected fires sometimes rise up.

Unannounced.

Undeclared.

They bubble up bringing with then the deep secrets of the earth.

They unleash extreme heat with an unbefore seen quickness.

And just as quickly as they rise up they disappear, leaving behind scorched trails in their paths.

They change things very quickly.
Allow things to move into the next form.

I am expecting the cooling calming waters to rise up next to soothe the heat torched land.

I am expecting cool winds that intercept the sun rays to keep them light and tolerable.

I am expecting peace to grow

love to grow

minds to grow

hearts to grow.

I am waiting to see it all swirl around with a power and force that is undeniable to everyone, not only to the few who have awoken to the secondary layers of understanding.

I understand that we are part of that force and that it is working.

Things are swirling

hearts, minds and souls are opening up wide to give and receive love.

This is the healing balm we have been craving

This will make it all possible.

This will return us to peace.

to the brilliant place from which we all came before we knew we were here.

This will open our eyes.

this is the force of love.

Let it flow.

Mondays Rock!

I am all wound up with excitement!
It could be the HUG pot of Yerba Matte Tea I just drank....however...

Monday has turned into this holy day for me.

I sit down with both kids at school. Begin the laundry mountain,
check out what we need from the store.

Check e-mail/blog etc... that I have missed over the weekend

and the best part.....

I clear off my dry erase calender and fill it in for the next week!

I really am at this point in my life where I find joy in order and organization.

Did you read that Mom and Dad? Don't fall over it's really true!

No worries though...my studio, my space that is all, mine is a stye.

Is that how you spell it in relation to a pig's stye?

No time to check....I have laundry to fold, groceries to purchase and paintings to make.

Happy Monday!

Rain Dance

Our whole family outside in the downpour. We got caught on the way home from Budda Belly and decided to embrace it.
Dancing in the rain, bellies full of doughnuts, coffee and milk.. Up in the hammock, quick get up before the water washes us away. The puddles pushing rushing water all around our back yard
Swinging in the hammock all wet and under the kids umbrellas. Splashing, laughing...all four of us. The dog runs inside deciding we are nuts.
Then we get naked on the back porch to be in the rain clothes-less for a minute, twirling around, arms open looking up into the pouring sky, before we run in for a hot shower. When we make it in to the shower, I hear a little voice from behind the curtain say "does it get any better then this?" ...
I don't believe it does.

The View From Down There

Remember, son that your angels are always there. Flying around with you even when you can not see them. They are bigger and stronger then the monsters and scary things.
I found this picture that you took for me a long time ago.
Keep it in your mind.
Call on it all the time.
I promise you they are always listening.

hmmmmm

Today is deeper, heavier and more potent than yesterday.

It is sure to reap more beauty ...that's just how it goes

Off to work.....

toting the mysteries

the questions

the knowing that I do not know and that when I really want an answer I must just let go

and receive what comes

in whatever form that may be

patience and surrender

with a bit of sunshine thrown in!

Spelling Lesson

I do not claim to be a good speller.....but really how many times have I misspelled breath for breathe. Like in the last post. I didn't edit it because, well at this point you all know I spell it incorrectly. But, tonight while reading to my children it was EVERYWHERE, after my very intentional effort to get it correct earlier today by adding the e to breath. Irony runs rampant...I'm sure I spelled rampant incorrectly too. Maybe since I have a child who is learning to read, I should brush up on my basic spelling and punctuation......hmmmmm...goodnite

Today

All I know to write is that today is good and I am thankful for it.

Thankful for it's hidden gifts.

For it's freshness.

For it's breathe.

Sky Wisdom

The Train of Flow

Today

I am riding on the train of flow

open to the tides and what may blow in on the breeze.

I have no expectations

I am up for whatever may come.

This is the sweetest spot.

To drop out of your ideas of a day is and to let the day make itself.

To be in time and space with clarity and awareness

today I am having a date with myself

I am moving around with lightness and curiosity

I am ready to receive the gifts and treasures that I can feel dancing around.

Open Doors

Today, after the rain I opened all of the doors up.

If only for a little while.

That promise of the shift in weather is in the air.

Circulation

Rejuvination

Clearing

Healthy Wind

Traveling in one door

And out another

Ahhhhhhhh

Afternoon Post

here i sit at 2:06

what an interesting part of the day

it is in between worlds

not yet hurried but awareness that it is near

a reminder to stay slow

stay open

let it flow

relax those thinking muscles

breath

really

slowly

feel your breath

in through your nose

out through your mouth.


*authors note

(I'm so glad I typed that because it made me realize that I say that to my son often. He is sensitive and easy to worry at times. I ask him to slow down, stop take a deep breath, in through your nose and out through mouth, I say. I ask him to feel his body, doesn't it feel better? I ask. And then I explain to him that of you are worried about something and you walk around with it and hold it. It gets bigger and begins to live in your body. That if we stop and breath and really feel it, The breath can take away our worries it can be a way for the stress to exit our bodies.( I also use this example when he worries about something and doesn't want to talk about it. I tell him that if we talk about it, it exits us, it doesn't belong to us any more, much like the breathing ......ok, so then I think..." This is so awesome. I suddennly gain this perpective of myself as a parent. ...I am teaching my children such good self awarness". This is awesome. This is how evolution happens. Generations continue to teach their children how to deal with the struggles they have fought. So one by one each human struggle diappears. For the things that children's parents did well stay with them as good things. The things that were missed or did poorly will allow the children to stuggle those struggles, learn those lessons and then add it the line of things that we will teach our children, that our parents taught us well. So, this is how evolution happens. This whole theory gives me hope that all of things that I am "missing" as a parent are the things that will make them grow stronger, grow into better people, a better generation. It gives me perspevtive on how this whole life thing works. I actually feel like I have been on this planet longe enough to have seen some growth, to see an evolution of people, of spirit. It is a gift to witness, and I am so honored to be in this place.

Waking Up

Spinning
Toiling
Running
Drinking
Breathing


Rhythmically

With Reason

With Purpose

With Great Intention

Dropping in

Feeling my skin

All at once

My body

My Eyes

My Hands

My Thoughts

Feeling them all

as seperate

and then allowing the integration to occur

Slowly

Brightly

Highly

Holy

Integration

The MOrning POst

some day sI just let my fingers flow with no thought
really let it rip and it just comes out like mustard or jelly or something like that. A silly flow on condiments

I feel like jelly today

in a good kind of way

and I am having visions of winter fires and hot mugs full of hot soup
and wearing jeans and of dark nights

but for now I will enjoy this time

pink flowers that have made it all summer and a newly weeded yard

A glow of newness and steady strong streams of things coming in

feeling the crest of the waves

the light of the moon

the big earth that we are on.

That beautiful mix of deep work and the giddy anticipation of it being the first Friday of the school year.

Pizza day, family night at a fun resturant

waking up on Saturday with no rush, newspaper in bed, coffee, kids in jammies being silly


maybe some pancakes and a walk to the farmers market...well you know when it all cools down a bit.

The line between the earthly pleasures and the cellular ones is getting fuzzy and that is ok with me.

an evolution I suppose

but she was right...this is going to change everything

and that is good. because I have gotten to that place where change is the comfortable medium

it is constant and keeps me in appreciation of what is.

Treasure Hunt

An unlikely day for a treasure hunt.

Hidden jewels and fire builders

Shiny metals

Breathing wooden bowls

Hidden in the building on the side of the road.

Waiting to be reactivated

Waiting to be loved again.

Finding their new home and purpose.

What a fun mornings adventure.

Liquid Becomes Her

It trickles in until

the air begins to change

like a mirage on a hot summer road

The air begins to swirl

shifting
pulsing

dancing almost

with intensity and looking for a place to land.

A brilliant yellow stream

conforms to the body

and expands

healing and shifting

like honey pouring

and glistening

and warming

thank you for this gift

For My Sweet Boy

This is for you
Our song

I am so proud of you.

Happy Friday!

There is nothing quite as sweet as feeling like you just got to come home.

After a whirlwind

I am home.

On a cozy Friday afternoon

With my family and nothing to do but relax.

I will savor each moment

ahhhhh

Oh what a feeling
the words elude me
is elude really a word?

I feel as though I have returned to the magic of childhood

if only in moments

examples of hard, yucky work paying off big and making way for even, beautiful , joyful flow

It is like a river
passing over rocks, swimming around gunk, fighting currents and storms

but holding on because you just KNOW that it will not last and around the corner is sunshine

a smooth, easy ride and perhaps a surprise waterfall

this ebb and flow

following the tide

trusting the cycles

listening to what shows up around us

and KNOWING that it will all be ok

that we need to have challenge

in order to move up

each lesson harder perhaps

each reward more glorious

more lucid.

Have a beautiful day

drink in the sunshine

Chaos Before Flow

Sometimes things just need to be chaotic before they settle down into flow.

This is when the rearranging happens

Things move where they need to be

Let us remember to surrender to this process so that is does not define us with discomfort

Allowing ourselves to roll with it with make it like a ride

One that we can not control

but that we trust will take us where we need to be.

New Beginings

Just as the flower begins to open in the morning light...
I feel expansion on it's way

A fresh morning dew dried by a bright beautiful sunshine that slowly encourages the opening to reveal a sacred geometry

one that has been in place for a very long time
one that repeats itself throughout nature
one that is seperate from the personality

and reminds us to remember all that we know
to bring forth those gifts
to love
to heal
to share

Sweet Afirmations

She was moved
so deeply in her heart.
She felt that connection so strongly and with such unmistakable
perfection of timing and content
and yet it was an old song to her
one with so many layers of meaning
one that stirred her soul
so very deeply
for so many years

to have it show up
capturing a moment
the exact clip so perfect
the lighting
the hair style
the view of the artist herself

sometimes gifts show up that are so big and perfect
in the tiniest packages.

Thank you for beauty in poetic perfection
for hearts all swelled up with love and for nailing it
even from far away

not missing a beat.
I love it!

moment of clarity

Peaceful Valley
down stream
sitting

under lush green tree tops

wind crisp and warm at the same time

clarity high

and feeling that swirling energy

the kind that invisibly wraps you up

lucidly, like you are in a blanket of clear movement.

Aware of the energy outside of myself

a fire like glow on everything

a light so bright and clear it moves with nothing

it shimmers and glows and morphs

This is a vision of a moment

an understanding of time and space differently

this clarity may be fleeting but will leave it's imprint somewhere.

It will be a ripple and move out and around and back

changing things as it goes...

and so the ripple flows

onward and outward

up into the sky

and down into the earth.

sitting still, I am part of it. No different then the trees

for a moment

and then I stand and continue on my journey.

Morning Light

Ahhh

I got it.

A morning epiphany

Sometimes, surrender IS about not being right about everything.

It's about accepting help, accepting that you may not know the best way.

Beautifully seeing that you are kind of stubborn.

It is sometimes about giving up a battle and taking good, solid advice from your wife with out a fight, or a fuss.

So, as I realized that yes, I COULD fight this now raging sinus infection on my own, I COULD also just take a course of antibiotics and be happy that I have them around and feel better soon

and Give my wife credit

for being smart, capable, and for knowing what she is talking about...without overiding her or somehow making it my idea.

Honey.... you have lots of good ideas and I should listen to you more.

Thanks for getting me on the fast track to being back.

Love you.

P.S,-

It was also a great idea to park the car first at the airport instead of curbside check in.

you were right about turning left into the car rental

and packing the carseats in the suitcases would not have been a good choice.

Thank You

I love you

sometimes it takes ten years to soften someone. Thank you for your patience.

bless you

I am having a happy Friday evening all cozed up with my family.

Sometimes a cold, to slow you down can be a great thing!

Oh Blah

I will Surrender to having a cold in the middle of the summer.

Blah

Blah

Blah

From here to there and everywhere

Biggest Bluest Skies
Rise over the Biggest, Bluest Eyes

We sit in silence
and appreciate each other

in that time and space that is us
being...right now


oh , but now, for some reason I just remembered driving around in that non-airconditioned car. Stopping at the starbucks to grab one last coffee together before you moved to Sweden. You had that crazy spider bite third eye and I wasn't about to ask about your new, huge zit in the middle of your forehead.

A little over a year ago

now...new baby in tow

new circumstances everywhere

how wild it is

that time thing

that space thing

didn't know how much I wanted you to come home until I heard you were checking flights.

Well, December will be here before you know it and damn, it's hot here in August and September!

Love flying over the big pass
to you, big girl, baby and S.Daddy

See you soon my friend, one of these fine days

and how sweet it will be.

The magic of a day at the beach

Although I almost talked myself out of it late last night...
I am so glad that today I am keeping the kids home from school/camp to go to..

"thursdays at shell beach"

I will only be able to do this two more times before real school begins.

Really, I wouldn't miss it for the world.

This is the beach where I brought my then two year old boy and four month old daughter to get out and play. That is where he learned to use the potty and she learned to take naps by the seaside.

I know that we will always frequent this awesome place, but today I will celebrate it with a big huge awareness of it's gift.

This is our kids beach...with secret tree swings and treasures to find, a foam "trampolene" and rope to push back and forth when the big waves come.

Memories of growing up and growing close.

I love this special spot

happy beach day

and to those of you living in cooler climates today, I'll make a coffee toast to you and hold a spot in the sunshine for ya!

Pot of Soup

Today

is the day

I make a big pot of healing soup.

For myself

and what a pleasure

to have a quiet house in which to slurp and fold and wash at my leisure.

Still in PJ's and on the otherside of this cold at 3:45 pm.

I will shower and start my day now.

Pick up my children with a calm peaceful smile.

I'm grateful to have had a sick day at home by myself

It's much easier to recover when you aren't taking care of others at the same time.

For those of you who are still tending to tiny ones...

your day will come

and couch, PJ's and daytime TV, much to your amazement, will still be going strong....

even if they've been on hold for 5 or so years.

Swirly

Swirly
Lemon Yellow

Flying in and out

repairing

moving

tuning in.

It will be short and swift and very effective

so relax, let it take it's course.

This is well organized and the pay off will be huge.

You are in a great spot to receive.

open your arms wide and let it all flow in.

with a big ole' smile plastered on your face....

Back Home

The simple pleasures of home.
My hot shower.
My cozy bed.
My favorite coffee mug.

No matter how wonderful the getaway,
the homecoming is always sweet.

Let us remember how lucky we are to love our lives.

I love mine!

You are here.

In time

it will all come

in that order of perfection

the whys all slowly revealed

the upward growth continuous and encoded

the wind clearer

sun more vibrant

all of the veils peel away

like the skin to an onion

the closer you get to it's core the more your eyes water and sting

cleanse and heal

It is all an intricate puzzle.

We need only to pay attention to what catches our eye or our ear or our heart.

We don't need to rush it.....

slow down

breath

close your eyes

feel your heart beating

and be grateful for that miracle

that is you

that is life

you are here.

oh sweetness

in a simple cup of tea
a warm bed
two sleeping children
and a wife who loves me so fully.

Looking forward t o sweet dreams tonight.

Goodnite my loves!

Pirates and Rainbows and dolphins, oh my....

Sometimes a plain old Saturday evening can become a very magical time.
Thank you to all who came to celebrate the summer and the late sunset with us.
Some acts of beauty you couldn't order up if you tried.
Here's to the ridiculous perfection of pirates arriving at the perfect time throwing booty into the sand for our children to grab up.
Here's to storms that hold off for our evening to progress.
Here's to rainbows off in the distance.
Here's to swimming at sunset in a light sprinkling of rain.
Here's to gratuitous dolphins who hung out long enough for everyone to see.
Here's to showers at the beach and straight into PJ's.
Here's to good friends and a little slice of paradise.
With Gratitude for a beautiful evening!

simple wisdom

Shiny beads
Still
and swirling.

Cleansing of things

washing and clearing

potential unfolding

inside of me

gratitude lurking.

Follow your own advice, she thought

Just be and it will come

but you really have to let go....really.

observations of the day

The day may find you..
before you have awakened.

It may wake you softly with sunshine
or loudly with rain.

It will watch as you open your eyes and stretch out your body.
It will welcome you with joy and hope.
each day holds your promises and your potential.

it is a gift slowly being unwrapped.

It may challenge us or leave us feeling bored
we may end the day excited to begin the next or tired and weary.

each day the sun will rise and the sun will set.

we will inhale and exhale

chew and swallow

stand and sit

let us do these things well, with as much attention as we can

for if all of the days simply float by while we are waiting for something else to happen we just might miss the good, simple parts of being human.

take a moment to look around and find something you are in awe of.

yourself is a good place to start.

Three Wheeled Journey

Stepping out into the street
Once again, timing is everything

ignoring the knats swirling so thick in the air.

They are only knats.....tiny, annoying tests

Today, I think I passed

and gained the gift of connectedness to another human spirit.

We are the same

once we release judgment

Let this lesson stay with me

I was a beautiful experience. Soft and powerful all at once.

I am begining to be more graceful about the awe.

It takes some getting used to.

What a ride!

Clutter F*%k

I try not to swear,
but this was the only thing I had to say about this post.

After a very sweaty morning of cleaning/organizing the shed and laundry room, two things I have been putting off for months I did it, a lot.

I'm so exhusted I will not go into detail but leave you with this...

something that feels like a clutter f*%k can leave you spent
but the piles of clutter that you left by the road have magically turned into treasure for passer-by's and the glory that will be felt when the new, clear space it is discovered by a certain someone in my house that loves order, will make my ordeal worth every cuss word I said this morning.

I am so delerious from the experience I'm not sure if any of this makes sense...but so goes it.

Have a happy and clutter free day!

Be Strong

Be Strong

For it is within you

The fibers of your muscles will grow

if challenged.

Be Strong

Your heart will work for you

pumping life through your veins

care for it well.

Be Strong

you are in charge of your thoughts

no one else can get into your mind unless you grant them access

Be Strong

it is all within you

we are all able to be

exactly who we chose to be

Be Strong

for when you can not do it on your own

rest assured that those who love you will be there

and you will always be surrounded

with exactly what you need.

Be Strong

be yourself, compleatly and your life will shine with brilliance

Be Strong

against all odds, use your gifts..they were given to you for a

reason...

Be Strong

and have a beautiful day, full of gratitude!

Butterfly

Oh Sweet butterfly...
open your wings.
You have been shaking with them closed for too long now.
They hold within them such magnificance
and glory.

You must now know that you are in fact, a butterfly.
do not be timid
show off the beauty within.
you have been cooped up in your cocoon for too long
with so much growing
it is time
it is your time.
the magic of flying will blow your mind
and inspire all who see you

It is your journey, do not be shy little butterfly
it is your gift
be gracious and open
all will move forward as it should.
the wind is warm
bask in the sunshine and drink up the nectar that is this life
fly on little butterfly
do not be afraid,
I am with you always
even if you can not see me
it will all be ok
I promise..

go on now, enjoy the beautiful ride.
and know that I love you
every second.

orange present

Happy Days of summer.

from here the fall will role in speedy

new school clothes and backpacks await.

how did we get here so fast?

a beautiful journey.

each moment wonderous

each phase to be savored

balanced by it's own challenges and gifts.

Knowing that the change is the constant

never too fast

always right where we need it to be.

I look forward to the road ahead, give thanks for our story and remember to be in each moment as that is all we have.

UP

When it's up, it's all up.
when the growth moves in one area,
it moves in all areas

this type of progression demands it.

no stone left unturned

no little things you've tucked away that you can continue to let get by without tending to.

it is a deep cleansing
and it is as difficult as it is rewarding.

the expansion
is on the rise

the base of my spine has been tapped

Here we gooooooooooooooooooooo

she said

with a pleasant smile on her face

the wind blowing her hair.

I'm up for the ride.

simple perfection

Sometimes
there is no mistaking it.
Something is so cleverly positioned you have no room to wonder.
These huge affirmations seem to come at the exact moment in which we need them.

The simple act of opening a book,
one that you have read before
to find exactly what you needed
before you knew you needed it

simple gifts

perfection

green evening

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

green

I'm in a state of happiness with no direction

can't figure out what to write

maybe it's because I can't focus

because the music is on

It's such a good mix I can't bear to turn it off.

simple bliss

quiet house

end of the day

great music on

and some time for myself.

good music is so important to one's state of mind

I should listen to it more

so, I guess I will

goodnight in green

swim in the blueness

a deep, dark blue
so certain
so sure

sturdy
strong
positive.

a dive down deep
takes us there
sparkling under the water
like tiny flecks of silver
twinkling about
moving in liquid
rushing past our open eyes
wetting our skin and hair
and one with the blood that rushes through our veins
the same blue
the same mystery
the same magic

we swim
kicking with powerful legs
powerful lungs
powerful arms
and good
red hearts
pumping to sustain us
and allow us to feel life deeply.
swim on.

TATTOO TOTEM

bringing it up strong
with the force of the wind
energy streaming in from the sun

twisting and turning in playful magic

swirling through each day

revisiting the spot of knowing

holding strong
and
steady

truth and trust
at the base of my spine
love in the middle
and God at the top

my tattoo totem

Good Night

Return to blue
that calm
peace
tranquil
and flowing
cool
gentle
mine.

space
quiet
appreciation
and
gratitude

breathe
in out

and back again

a weekend journey
full of fun destinations

landing home

solid
footing
all
together
ready for a sweet
summer
Sunday
night's
sleep

Yum! Yum! Yum!

Sometimes the simple pleasures are enough to bring a tear of joy to your eye.

Like, Ben & Jerry's ice cream in a pint off a counter top with a 3 year old dressed up like a princess and 1 spoon. Total bliss can be found in tiny daily moments. I vow to take them in!

For my Friend

I know this woman whose eyes harbor a world of light and love.
They glisten in the moon light and dance around the fire.
The warrior has been awakened and she is almost finished with the battle.
She feels strong
and empowered.
For once the last dragon has been slayed the magic flows in like a wave.
It sparkles all around. Encircling her head.
Her presence is big and she was chosen by spirit to have her head up close to the heavens.
Her feet firmly on the ground. She can hear the voices of the angels up there and brings their soft, loving, guidance down to earth.
Her height is part of her glory
She knows that now
owns it
walks proud
as she should
She has been chosen to guide
and she will
with grace
and the knowledge that she is good.
She has been crowned with the power of self.
She will trust herself
as she is scooped up by the great Mother spirit and the great Father spirit
She will feel the universal, unconditional steady pulse of love that she is.
There is a new, loving presence that surrounds her.
Protects her
and reminds her to hear only the beautiful words
As she listens
she heals
and fills up with that magic light and strength
she is one with the beauty of herself
and it feels so good.
She is brave
It is hard to take that leap
the leap of faith if you will,
but once you begin the process there is no turning back
it continues to build and the lightness you feel will offer that peace
the peace that you have been searching for
sleep well in that restful place
of comfort and knowing.
Namaste my friend.

awareness

Simplicity in direct intentions.

I continue to be amazed at how quickly a transformation can take place when you simply make space for it.

Awareness easily difuses frustration, impatience.

Surrender to what is happening .

do not try to make it something else

it becomes easy

like a release after a long, deep breath

I feel refreshed
rejuvinated
and excited to pass through this moon

Today

Today i was defeated. By impatience.

I was not at all Zen, or at peace or feeling the love.

But that is ok.

I guess that is part of the lesson.

To remember your humaness.

Summer Heat

It is hot
I am remembering to pretend i am in a health inducing sauna
sweating out old funk
A tropical oasis
warm tropical winds
cool water close by to soak in
fresh fruits and water to replenish myself
warm sun to give me joy
a body that works well
a system to cool myself
I embrace the sweat
the heat
the summer and the season I am in
If all else fails put on some Bob Marley and enjoy a cool cocktail and be happy to not be stuck in a gray, snowstormy muck with no power and no heat.
Eat a grilled fish sandwich by the bay and enjoy the view the late sunsets
and the fact that people wait all year to come here for a week.
Blessed in sweat and warmth I am.
Groovin to the summer jam.

The Flow

Oh....

the plan

get up early

pack lunches for kids

walk dog

feed kids

drop off at camp

go to gym

go to studio

a perfect day

but wait...

during the dog walk you notice your throat is a bit tight

hmmmm.....funky stuff been going round our house

The other Mama is on antibiotics with a VERY sore throat

so, even though my energy feels fine...

I decide that I must not push on through

I must heal this funk before it blooms.

So after drop off I pick up a ginger kombucha...my new favorite elixer...

and come home to take a very hot detox shower and get in Pj's and rest in a quiet house.

It sounds so blissful to write it, but all I want to do is go work out really hard and get in my studio.

but I will not.

It has taken me 32 years to realize that when you get that first small signal from your body...you stop and rest

and I have the luxury of no kids to tend to until four.

So I will

Really

and wake up funk free a full of energy

Maybe I will read and expand my mind with out using any physical energy.

I will be flexible and in the flow

I will
I will
I will

Happy Surprises

Sometimes you find yourself in place you would not expect and are unsure of how you got there at that particular moment.

Then you run into a friend (MamaBird) who, like you has no children in tow and you....

walk around the corner for a totally unplanned, happy girls lunch date. Something that you both must have needed and totally enjoyed.

You stay for a long while chatting and catching up.

What a very happy surprise.

Sometimes the fates really think you need a lunch date with a good friend. I go to Dillard's maybe twice a year...what are the odds of finding each other there?

Thanks for a great lunch Mama!

We'll have to do that more often.

Happy Sunday

What a perfectly unplanned weekend.

A day splashing with our kids at a pretty perfect pool on the water, only our family of four.

A dinner at home...everyone picked their favorite dinner choice and ate our full.

A happy late night on the deck under the summer stars deep in grown up conversations and plans for our future.

A Sunday morning, crazy and wild. Tamed by a trip to the local aquarium, picnic lunch and a visit to Nanny's while the Mom with a cold stayed in bed in peace and quiet.

Concluding in a perfect family dinner out at our secret Oyster bar that has a great kids menu and good beer on tap. ...and finally...a last minute stop home to pick up our big puppy and take him for his first romp at the dog park.

All sweaty and tired we arrive home to bedtime tubs, a crashed out dog and two spent Moms who are looking forward to our last slice of this unplanned weekend evening with two kids way asleep in bed.

It's nights like these that we are happy to have cable tv, comfy couches and hot showers.

Life is so good....and we are so grateful! Happy Sunday

* just for the record, this is being written before 8pm, and the kids are in no way "way asleep" yet. I am at the computer and the other Mom is getting their jammies on etc. but...they WILL be "way asleep" sometime soon. (let us pray) and then I will take on that comfy couch, hot shower, cable tv...etc.....just so you didn't think life was really THAT perfect, even in blog land..

LBI

I sat.
quietly on the dock.
feeling the salt water rush and splash under me.
My curiosity moved me to lie down with my eyes over the space between two of the old, grey, salt worn boards that made up the dock. I curled my toes under and let them hold up my outstretched legs.
Peering down into the water I saw the foamy masses floating by. The clumps of seaweed with tiny little barnacles.
I could feel the heat move in masses with the bay breezes.
My blonding hair was blowing gently. Beginning to mat from a day out in the salt air.
It was summertime. On the Jersey shore.
I remember feeling so bored on those long summer days.
I took sailing classes and did swimteam. I took art classses and scooped ice cream in the local parlor for extra money.
But the days always seemed very long.
Now, I think back and only remember the barefeet that carried me everywhere. Except into the movie theater. That was pretty much the only place that required shoes on that island.
I may have only had one pair of flip-flops for the whole summer. I hardly wore them at all.
I ate cheesesteaks and pizza
and drank birch beer.
For lunches at home it was microwave hot dogs or spagettio's. The first lunches I knew how to "cook" myself.

I remember walking on the pebbles that made up our yard and taking most of our showers outdoors. There was always green shampoo and shaving cream in there.

We would eat fabulous dinners
clams, mussels, big, fresh sliced tomatoes.
Sweet corn on the cob
The days stayed light late and we would bike or walk to the ice cream shop for dessert. There was always a line out the door. Freshly tanned and showered people, waiting to choose their flavor.

We rode our bikes everywhere. Total freedom to explore.
There was a five and ten store to buy candy . It smelled of plastic beach toys and inner tubes.
There, we could get anything we needed for summer.

In the mornings there was a bakery.
My parents would often bring home muffins. Huge muffins or fresh bagels for breakfast. The yummy kind of breakfast that wore off by 10 and had you planning lunch already.

We had a hammock out on the back porch. I would sit in it and watch TV. Music videos. Trying to identify with something as I grew from girl to teenager.
The songs that were on then still remind me of summer when I here them.

This place was it's own paradise where you could walk from the ocean to the bay in 20 minutes. Sun rising at the ocean. Setting at the bay. You could crab and clam right of of the edge of the shoreline. Seagulls would sing to us during the day and the buzz of window fans would lull us to sleep at night.
Even if I did not appreciate it then, I do now.
Wonderful summers at the jersey shore.
Thanks Mom and Dad

Oh Goodie

Oh, goodie
it's time for a post
I am not yet inspired but pushing on.
I picked orange after viewing a beautiful color walk.
So maybe, a little inspired.

A sunny day at the beach with so many Mamas and babes I couldn't keep them straight.

15 kids in our crew I think.
Whew...
more coming too.

So, I guess this post is about how I feel blessed
to be surrounded by so much love
and such great friends

I feel compelled to mention that my farthest away friend who I visit in dream time alot
met me for a thick day of snowfall last night.
I woke up so shocked that there was so much snow in June.

I know it's cooler over there, but really?

I'm so literal.

Thank you all for being my friends

I feel so full and surrounded

even as it changes and the landscape of time slides by

it remains strong
and circular
and I feel the comfort in the shifting
knowing that it always gets good again
even after a period of struggle or adjustment

we are good people
and so lucky to be here
to watch each other
and ebb and flow
season after season

for myself

Today I promise to make room for myself.
To finish my common care taking of others early in the day
and flesh out a large chunk
of self care time

I will create something wonderful

in joy

and be happy and inspired doing so

Circle of Women

Women gather in circles

to the rhythm of ancient drums



to celebrate
to birth
to mother
to weep
to laugh
to eat
to hold each other close
to heal

we offer each other the healing salve of friendship
of common experience

weaving a tapestry of our own traditions
a secondary family for our children

each added fiber
making the bond stronger
fleshing out our story
told in vibrant colors

this beautiful swirl of love fell in line with the winds
as the wish of a community to be born emerged
we continue on
years later
growing outwardly
growing inwardly as well
and we have quietly promised to remain

many hands are present

to help and offer guidance

abundance surrounds us

in the spirit of love I give thanks
for this circle
and the promise
that we will continue to remember

how to honor each other

and how to keep the flow of the juju

in our veins

our spirits

and our hearts

Thank you

It's electric

Today I wait
for the electrician
Mid - Sunday night dinner
the stove stoped working all the way.
Warm but not hot
The microwave and fridge went kurplunk.
hmmmmm
Ran a cord from the living room to the fridge in hopes that the outlet in there was on.
yes...! We saved all of the new groceries
Air conditioning...out. (but it's cool and overcast)
kid's room lights out
however, the computer, water heater, washer, dryer
and television work.
I guess you get what you need
and we were pushed out the door at 6:45 last night to walk to our new local pizza joint.
One family dinner out
one great Sunday night
and one Monday of FINALLY addressing our 1935 bungalow wiring issues.
Here's to keeping the avenues for the flow up to date
and to the last sliver of juice that will keep our food cold until we can use the stove to cook it.
I guess tonight we will be using the grill!

Friday Morning

big, hot, cup of coffee

yes, from the press

in a mug decorated with sesame street stickers.

waking me up to this happy Friday!

Potential

As I sit
thinking about the future of the day
all I can hear is great potential.
where will I be tonight that I am not today?
Moving forward
growth and learning more.

S l o w i n g
d o w n

enough to appreciate all of those tiny lessons.

Those subtle shifts in thought or perception
or understanding
are waiting to light me up
to turn me on
to get me feeling

believing

and understanding more.

I give great thanks for the opportunities of today

for the gifts that I will receive and the ones that I will give.

Let's dance in the delight of each day's treasures.

random thoughts

...sometimes the best argument for using the french press for real, good, coffee is when you open the top to the conventional coffee pot to add the water and "pre-set" it the night before so you will wake to the smell of it and you see a cockroach peeking it's head up over the edge..... way to keep me on the "will not compromise quality for convenience path!"

...sometimes the best way to ensure 30 minutes of walking outside a day with no excuses is to adopt a very sweet, big dog who needs two walks a day to keep him feeling happy and settled... way to keep me in shape Deezyl!

...sometimes when you're falling asleep at night thinking, "boy, I need to spend some good quality time with my son, one on one, we"ll have to plan a date.," you wake up to a little boy with a cold just bad enough that he shouldn't go to school and just mild enough that you can fit in three rounds of ocean bingo and a huge floor puzzle in the middle of the afternoon." way to make it happen little man!

....sometimes when you're wondering about all of the running around, your "tiny dancer" all dressed in costume for her recital says she needs to practice after the photo shoot at the dance studio. Even though it's bedtime, you watch in amazment at her natural rhythm, groove and total pleasure of performing. Way to get Mommy all excited to see you do your big show on Saturday little ballerina!

...sometimes when you sit down at your computer after dropping off the kids you look up to a small note that simply says I heart you. ...way to fill me up for the day babe! I love you too.

and sometimes all it takes is renewing your gym membership to make you feel like you can do anything and you have a free pass to the best spa in the whole world!... Way to appreciate the post weight training steam room, hot tub and sauna that you now have unlimited access to.

Thank you for this beautiful day! I intend to enjoy every minute.

Cornstarch Love: blogtastic!

Thank you to Mama C and Daddy B for the great idea!

2 kids, two boxes of cornstarch and some food coloring make for hours of Sunday at home fun (and some cool pictures)!

flow

I love it

when the flow is unstoppable

when it is so undeniable

so big

so powerful

so affirming

I love it when it washes over me

joy

and the knowing that good is happening.

tiny bubble

into the tiny bubble I slip

clean

round

hard to lock a gaze on

rainbow swirling

clear and floating

prepared for it to pop at any moment

morning ride

Interesting times a coming

Not pretending to know one way or another

Which way it will go

On the river

riding along

eyes open

heart open

hands and arms open

to receive the wind and sky and rain

the sunshine

the stars and moon at night

feeling the pulse

watching the cycles

with respect

with awe

step after step

wave after wave

begining to feel the steady rhythm of change and growth

the constant movement becoming

comfort

and familiar

rather than unsettling and surprising everytime

remembering that it is a ride

a dream if you will

serious

but not so much

the main purpose is love

real, pure love

appreciation

gratitude

kindness

this open heart is sailing down the river on the tide and enjoying the breeze.

words

doing nothing
instananiously
rummaging
through things
over and under

inside and outside

remebering
regarding
repelling
refusing
I switch over
turn it down
spike it up
roll under it
jump to my feet
continue on and get solid
full
strong
resilient

hodge podge of a post

I happily return to my post.

Quiet house

Clean Laundry

Clean Kitchen

Fridge ready to receive fresh food

Library Bag ready to receive new bedtime stories

Simple things bring such satisfaction.

I discovered our first cucumber in the garden today. It must be thanking me for building a trellis for it's vines to climb. They grow and twist up over the fence and blossom beautiful yellow flowers. I think I have figured out that in order for a blossom to produce fruit it must be pollenated by a bee.

The other day my boy said to me, "Mom, I never recognized how important bees were until I watched the Bee Movie."

"Me either." I said

Really, we need them for food not just to sweeten my morning coffee.

Thanks Bees, for pollenating our garden

Funny, most people see bees and are filled with fear....they may get stung

Now, when I see one I am filled with gratitude.

Fear versus Love

It really is that simple

We're getting there folks

one bee at a time

I wonder if those folks in California will regcognize that my love is nothing to be frightened of.

I'm not very political but I do get riled up once in a while.

I feel patient about that whole situation. It takes time for things to change

It takes time for cucumbers to grow.

When you just walk into the store and buy one it seems so easy to take that long growth process for granted.

When I do get the right to marry the love of my life, for real

I will have watched it grow

Felt the struggle for that previlidge

I will never take it for granted

I know that I am ok

and I am strong

and less and less people have a fear of me and my love and my family, hurting their children of all things

I'm not angry about it

I'm passionate and willing to watch the process

to appreciate the change

I'm simply living honestly and by doing that helping to lessen the fear

helping to spread the love
.

The world keeps getting better

One Supreme Court Justice, one bee and one gay marriage at a time.

This is such an interesting post....households, gardens, bees, marriage equality, politics

It's all the same really

just shows up in different forms

Choose love over fear

It makes for a much happier day

an emerald weekend

a moment of quiet

in a weekend of wild family fun.

A good reminder to stop and enjoy the view

so you don't miss the beauty

The heavy rock

So if you scroll down just a wee bit and read my post from this morning you will see ...

me in bliss.

Then

Bam!

.....up it comes again
the most annoying of situations
bubbling around.
It's not in my veins
not making me sick
but it sure is persistent
This test, if you will.

Like a tennis match

back and forth

back and forth

I find it,
that peace.

and just when I let my guard down

I am tested with the ick of life.

I guess that is all part of the process.

I'm holding on much more tightly then I have before
the angry stuff only bubbles up a bit
and then I spray some love on it and I watch it diffuse
This may be the end of an era
The last Karmic squeeze
My chance to put an end to the cycle.

It is about being wholly me.


I gain the freedom that comes with saying difficult things.
and with feeling uncomfortable
The ultimate freedom that comes when you refuse to compromise your morals.

This is ready to end
I refuse to let it swirl
I refuse to accept the toxicity
I refuse to bite

and I will be nice.
I will be polite.
but I will be firm
and they will get a dose.

inspiration flows

Today is a good day.
things are clearing
happiness is moving forward
and I am stuck in awe of my life
I can get to this place so quickly now and I work to maintain it through out the day

last night I feel asleep in my daughters bed
with her arms around me
I woke up to her cuddling in my bed beside me
After breakfast she asked me to hold her and rock her
she is like a dumpling
round cheeks
brimming smile and eyes that are full of it
I love her so much
my little cherub angel girl

My son is getting so big
He still asks if he can be my "baby camodo dragon"
So I build him a nest and he cuddles up and makes baby dragon nosies
as he is wrapped up by a blanket and my curled up knees
He is still my baby boy
and I can feel his love radiate

My children show each other such kindness
such love

really, like us all
it is when they are off balance
tired or hungry
or hormonal
that they get grumpy and bumpy
and we talk too tough
or too loud or with out compassion
but we own our mistakes and our shortcomings
we own our humanness
we say we're sorry
and love eachother so well

My beautful wife is amazing
she is the best person I know.
She is thoughtful
considerate
and true to the core
I am blessed to be by her side
I am blessed to be able to parent with her
no matter how hard it gets or how far I fall from this place we are tight
and we have made a promise
to be good to each other
and to be sure that our children always feel safe
to be sure that they know we are here
and that they are ok
no matter what.
My life is amazing
I work hard at it
but when you see the beauty in the results it is easy to keep at it
I am having total gratitude at the moment
an inner peace
that makes me understand what "they're" talking about when "they" say inner peace.
It is consuming
and the ultimate comfort
It is being filled up with light.
It is so wonderful
Have a beautiful day

a beautiful rainy afternoon

Some days you just feel like you nailed it!

A cozy dry house amid hard rain

Fresh baked brownies, healthy ones made with fresh sweet potato puree and whole wheat flour and deep, dark cocoa powder and they actually taste good

two happy kids

a little scooby-doo

and a big pot of ziti and italian sausage on the stove

hmmmm

full bellies and low blood pressure

an unusually calm and perfect afternoon

what a pleasure...

today I do feel blogtastic

may it continue on all the way to bedtime

tiny birds songs will save my soul

Do you know how sometimes those things creep in
under your skin and they are just circumstances
and you know you should not let them get to you

it is a practice of turning them away letting them float around without bothering you

knowing they will be non issues soon

the practice of being a mindful human is hard

But I am determined to let my spirit take over those humanly concerns

I will go for a run on freshly rained on side walk
listen to the birds
enjoy the cool air
welcome the beautiful fresh sunshine
and tell all annoyances to piss off

have a beautiful beautiful day!

Tuesday Train

I am feeling so appreciative for my life today.

I have so many wonderful blessings.

and I found tiny watermelons growing in our garden

awe has been inspired from a crazy watermelon vine

Monday Morning...not on a train to anywhere

oh those funny little tests

when you're waking up to a glourious slept in Monday

because your wife got up
and made coffee in the french press
for you
and then feed, dressed packed lunches..took the kids to school and walked and fed the dog


ahhhhh beauty...and your phone was turned off so no waking up to the ring

just as the day feels perfect you check your voicemail to

FIVE messages already by 11am

THREE of which are big, huge pains in the ass

one of which is sooo sweet

and one of which will eventually nurture your soul.

It all levels out in the end I suppose

but a big note to self..don't check those messages until you are awake enough to deal with what they may contain

well

they can't bring me down

I'm gonna kick ass today

Have a rockin Monday

Circle of Life

Once there was someone who taught me about birth

Who taught me about power

Who told me I could do anything

Who helped me believe

In a blanket of safety that I could do anything

I think she thought she was only allowing me to remember all that I already knew

and she was right

but...in this life had I missed her teaching I would've missed all that I already knew

and without her I would no doubt have missed the most amazing experience of this life

I was given a great gift by my midwife

The space to feel and know my own power

The room to remember and own it

The time to allow it to unfold as it should have

As it did

And great, deep respect for the process of birth

She is in my life now for many other reasons

but today I would like to thank the her before she was my friend

the her that openly supported me and my partner with no reservations

She may have only been the holder of the key

but she gave it to me and without that gift

I would not be me now

Thank you for passing on the wisdom

The ripple only swells and continues to grow

Remember

and thanks

birth

beauty unfolding

a process so important

layer by layer

opening slowly

for new, sweet life to arrive

healing

changing

powerful work

perfectly timed

a pleasure to witness

such deep strength

such glorious beauty

pure love arising

may her sweet life be blessed

great potential

On my way back to the studio
hoping for a miraculous afternoon of painting

and rain

In Peace

Times comes and go.
Ebb abd flow
fast and steady
creaky and timid
steady in the changes
ready fro the turns
savoring each space as present
on down the road
being sure not to mistake where I am for where I've been or where I'm going
knowing that the ride is infinite and everchanging
evergrowing
big and powerful
wide and long
over and under and most importantly right straight through the center.
Fearlessness to forge on ahead with no reservations about what will show
knowing that even if it makes no sense
it will
trust

TRUST
SPIRIT
LOVE

LOVE
SPIRIT
TRUST

Continue on
with eyes open
heart open
mind open
arms open
breath steady
in awe
and gratitude.
There is always something within reach to inspire awe
to regain that connection
breath is the easiest
heart beat
fingers
toes
just as a newborn inspires awe
so should our bodies
amazement
and gratitude daily
a pledge
a sacred contract
total safety
in that knowing
like a child in it's mothers arms nursing and falling asleep
that knowing that one is protected by something much bigger
like the mother is creator and keeper of the infant
spirit is that to us
the sky becomes our blanket
keeping us safe and warm and knowing that we are taken care of that there will be warm milk and a warm body to hold us as we mature and grow.
Until we no longer need her. Mother earth. When we have learned all we need from this life and from her, we grow up and move away
on to our next place

the path from here to there is being well traveled

Being in it.
That juicy flow.
That greater understanding.
More and more often.
Finding books that show up unannounced with information.
Studying
my state of awareness
having a dialouge between the brain , the thinker and the knower.
Learning to trust the knower
feeling peace with that wisdom and begining to trust that it is all inside of me
Inside of all of us
Things are boundless when we can tap into that
It comes in waves
This state of absolut knowing
it is blissful when it is in totality
I am taking moments to appreciate that I can be here
Making that pathway from here to there well traveled
familiar and easily accesible
I may even plant little flowers along the path
It is mine and i am ready to own it.

dusk on Cocoanut

This is one of those times
that I feel complelled to write
with no idea of what will come out.
~Superheroes~
~super doggies~
"sit on your butt please
it's time to transition to books and chill out
it gave me a fruit freeze
don't drink it, it's gonna give you a fruit freeze
fruit freeze please don't drink it
please don't drink. Superheroes...uhh uu Li.
you need a super hero calm down
I'm going to ask one more time to come to books. Jack please make a choice about books.
ok ready
right now we can do two book if everyone is being behaved
what do you think those dogs name are?
I think this is skitty
that one's bad and that one furry.
ok, lots of different possibilities.
But mom that one kind of looks like a cat.
do you know what that one is?
it looks like a poodle.
it is.
that one looks like a bull dog.
good dog
bad dog
yeah, we don't say that in this house though.
We're not going to use that word with Deeyzl,
bad dog.
we don't say that word.
Hey Mom, that one kind of looks like Alice.."

ahhhhh

book time has begun
nice work settling them down Mama!

If you, the reader couldn't tell
as I sat down to write it was the begining of the other Mom doing book time with the kids...I just started transcribing what was said . I felt like the chick in the court room typing like a mad woman.

I can't wait to go back and read it
Goodnight All
May your storytime be blessed!

play-ger-ism

I got this in an e-mail and something said...put it up on your blog it is another form of liquid vision, just translated into concrete items

I really liked it

have a happy day!!!!

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in
> > > a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
> > >
> > > A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front
> > > of him.
> > >
> > > When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
> > > mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
> > >
> > > He then asked the students if the jar was full.
> > >
> > > They agreed that it was.
> > >
> > > The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar
> > > He shook the jar lightly.
> > >
> > > The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
> > >
> > > He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
> > >
> > > They agreed it was.
> > >
> > > The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
> > >
> > > Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
> > >
> > > He asked once more if the jar was full.
> > >
> > > The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'
> > >
> > > The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the
> > > entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between
> > > the sand.
> > >
> > > The students laughed..
> > >
> > > 'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to
> > > recognize that this jar represents your life.
> > >
> > > The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your
> > > health, your friends and your favourite passions---and if everything else
> > > was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
> > >
> > > The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and
> > > your car.
> > >
> > > The sand is everything else---the small stuff.
> > >
> > > 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room
> > > for the pebbles or the golf balls.
> > >
> > > The same goes for life.
> > >
> > > If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never
> > > have room for the things that are important to you.
> > >
> > > Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
> > >
> > > Spend time with your children.
> > >
> > > Spend time with your parents.
> > >
> > > Visit with grandparents.
> > >
> > > Take time to get medical checkups.
> > >
> > > Take your spouse/partner out to dinner.
> > >
> > > Play another 18 holes of golf
> > >
> > > There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
> > >
> > > Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.
> > >
> > > Set your priorities.
> > >
> > > The rest is just sand.
> > >
> > > One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer
> > > represented.
> > >
> > > The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'
> > >
> > > The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem,
> > > there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.
> > >
> > >

* may I add....a golf ball...

take time to nourish YOUR spirit
to make YOU happy.
> > >

Sweet Boy!

Well...
sometimes
being impulsive is good!

Welcome Deeyzl

the newest member of our family!

The post that started with .."arrgghh"

Arrgghh

I have nothing to write

well, not really

I'm, guessing it's about that time.

Not grumpy...

Not overwhelmed.....

No, this month it is in the form of no impulse control.

This morning I HAD to cut my hair...myself....all crazy like as we were getting the kids ready for school.

Then I almost made a stop at the humane society because I just HAD to have a dog...today

of course all week I've talking myself out of that kind of responsibility.

Next, I ALMOST stopped at the car dealership to "look around" and "check out" financing for that new jeep I've been trying to manifest.

Impulisve today? YEP.

Well, thankfully my hair turned our GREAT

and my patient wife didn't agree about the dog or the car shopping... for today anyway.

Now I'm safely at home with no new impulsive urges.

So...that is my story

I think I'll go do something safe like dishes or laundry.

crystal waters

Continuing on down the river

ready for a deep dive to the bottom

looking up through clear waters into the distorted sky above

sunshine filtering down

no panicing

I can breath down here

I am a mermaid

but I'm back up in time for breath anyhow

It is lightening to swim through these waters

I learn of the sea

new forms

new life

a new feeling on my skin

I am surrounded by pearls hidden within rough and unsightly shells

I know they are there

waiting for me

to open when I'm ready

but there is no rush down here in the sea

the salt water is enough for me

the sunshine sustains me

I am happily splashing around enjoying the sparkle of my scales

the flip of my tail

the smile on my face

I am transformable

simply morphing into new places and experiences

I am salty sunshine

and crystal skies and water

I am attracted to these things

I am human

being

summer time and the living is easy

Sometimes we need to remember how important it is to sweat.
a long exhustive sweat that rids our body of funk.
It is with this vision that I am ready to embrace the hot Florida summers that are on their way.
The combination of salty sweat, coarse sand under foot and a soak in salty seas somehow replenishes the colds of winter
The bronzed skin of summer
the extra kick of vitamin D
the blue skies and warm breezes
I will no doubt retreat into the modern day gift air conditioning
but when I am among the elements I will remember to delight in them
Like a hot shower in the winter
I will enjoy a cool one in the summer
fresh cold melon
late sunsets
after dinner trips to the beach for a "summertime" bath
This I will embrace.