I am thankful to my spirit for being open.
For remembering to listen.
To hearing the sweet words from my beautiful daughter.
As we lay in bed cuddling up for the evening. She said to me "Mommy, I want to be with you forever." Later in the conversation "I miss you when I'm at school." But she said it with a certain clarity and openess that I haven't felt from her before.
It is as if, in that moment my heart blew open into a million pieces.
Well then we will spend more time together I thought.
In that huge moment, I realized that this was my time to be with HER. As my son is getting settled into kindergarten, my little girl is reaching out for me in a way she never has before. With a tenderness that is just emerging. She seems to need me more. Wants to be held and rocked. As a baby she was so self-sufficient. I remember at a few months old she actually got hurt and cried with real need for comfort for the first time. I cried too, because I hadn't felt her really NEED me before. From birth she was so content. Crying for milk or when ready to sleep, but not needing to be held and rocked nearly as much as her brother. Her whole self seemed stronger, less fragile.
So, in this sweet moment at bedtime tears began rolling down my face. She needed me and There is time still. Unlike my 5 year old, she still has small traces of baby left. A little bit of round cheek, that ability to cuggle up tight.
Ohhhhhhhhh....yes.
This is OUR time.
She has waited so patiently for her brother to grow into his boyhood. He is happily exploring his independence and now I am available to her. To make up for that bonding that I had with him when there was no one else vying for my attention. I spent days with him, talking and exploring, getting to know him. She rode on my hip, nursed and laughed, but never had that one on one time, nor she she seem to need it. But now, she does. She wants time with me and I am fortunate enough to be able to provide it.
In that moment I realized that I have had time to take a breath with them both in school. Time to return to myself. I have regrouped from the insanity of having two little ones and here this gift presented itself, a little more time mothering in that very intimate way. I knew immedietly that I will be keeping her home an extra day a week and picking her up an hour earlier from school. We will parade around to playdates and parks together and get to know each other in that way. I felt this huge joy rise up in me. A small change of plans that I neither came up with or resisted.
She is ready and so I am I .
I am so grateful that I did not miss that moment or talk myself out of it.
My time as a mother to small children may be over soon but I am going to scoop this sweet girl up and savor her while I can. She is only 3 and I know how fast that will change.
My heart is so full and I am looking forward to getting to know her better.
Thank you for this opening.
It feels like I just unwrapped a magical gift.
For remembering to listen.
To hearing the sweet words from my beautiful daughter.
As we lay in bed cuddling up for the evening. She said to me "Mommy, I want to be with you forever." Later in the conversation "I miss you when I'm at school." But she said it with a certain clarity and openess that I haven't felt from her before.
It is as if, in that moment my heart blew open into a million pieces.
Well then we will spend more time together I thought.
In that huge moment, I realized that this was my time to be with HER. As my son is getting settled into kindergarten, my little girl is reaching out for me in a way she never has before. With a tenderness that is just emerging. She seems to need me more. Wants to be held and rocked. As a baby she was so self-sufficient. I remember at a few months old she actually got hurt and cried with real need for comfort for the first time. I cried too, because I hadn't felt her really NEED me before. From birth she was so content. Crying for milk or when ready to sleep, but not needing to be held and rocked nearly as much as her brother. Her whole self seemed stronger, less fragile.
So, in this sweet moment at bedtime tears began rolling down my face. She needed me and There is time still. Unlike my 5 year old, she still has small traces of baby left. A little bit of round cheek, that ability to cuggle up tight.
Ohhhhhhhhh....yes.
This is OUR time.
She has waited so patiently for her brother to grow into his boyhood. He is happily exploring his independence and now I am available to her. To make up for that bonding that I had with him when there was no one else vying for my attention. I spent days with him, talking and exploring, getting to know him. She rode on my hip, nursed and laughed, but never had that one on one time, nor she she seem to need it. But now, she does. She wants time with me and I am fortunate enough to be able to provide it.
In that moment I realized that I have had time to take a breath with them both in school. Time to return to myself. I have regrouped from the insanity of having two little ones and here this gift presented itself, a little more time mothering in that very intimate way. I knew immedietly that I will be keeping her home an extra day a week and picking her up an hour earlier from school. We will parade around to playdates and parks together and get to know each other in that way. I felt this huge joy rise up in me. A small change of plans that I neither came up with or resisted.
She is ready and so I am I .
I am so grateful that I did not miss that moment or talk myself out of it.
My time as a mother to small children may be over soon but I am going to scoop this sweet girl up and savor her while I can. She is only 3 and I know how fast that will change.
My heart is so full and I am looking forward to getting to know her better.
Thank you for this opening.
It feels like I just unwrapped a magical gift.
Just cause you do not feel thirsty does not mean water is any less essential.
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