morning ride

Interesting times a coming

Not pretending to know one way or another

Which way it will go

On the river

riding along

eyes open

heart open

hands and arms open

to receive the wind and sky and rain

the sunshine

the stars and moon at night

feeling the pulse

watching the cycles

with respect

with awe

step after step

wave after wave

begining to feel the steady rhythm of change and growth

the constant movement becoming

comfort

and familiar

rather than unsettling and surprising everytime

remembering that it is a ride

a dream if you will

serious

but not so much

the main purpose is love

real, pure love

appreciation

gratitude

kindness

this open heart is sailing down the river on the tide and enjoying the breeze.

words

doing nothing
instananiously
rummaging
through things
over and under

inside and outside

remebering
regarding
repelling
refusing
I switch over
turn it down
spike it up
roll under it
jump to my feet
continue on and get solid
full
strong
resilient

hodge podge of a post

I happily return to my post.

Quiet house

Clean Laundry

Clean Kitchen

Fridge ready to receive fresh food

Library Bag ready to receive new bedtime stories

Simple things bring such satisfaction.

I discovered our first cucumber in the garden today. It must be thanking me for building a trellis for it's vines to climb. They grow and twist up over the fence and blossom beautiful yellow flowers. I think I have figured out that in order for a blossom to produce fruit it must be pollenated by a bee.

The other day my boy said to me, "Mom, I never recognized how important bees were until I watched the Bee Movie."

"Me either." I said

Really, we need them for food not just to sweeten my morning coffee.

Thanks Bees, for pollenating our garden

Funny, most people see bees and are filled with fear....they may get stung

Now, when I see one I am filled with gratitude.

Fear versus Love

It really is that simple

We're getting there folks

one bee at a time

I wonder if those folks in California will regcognize that my love is nothing to be frightened of.

I'm not very political but I do get riled up once in a while.

I feel patient about that whole situation. It takes time for things to change

It takes time for cucumbers to grow.

When you just walk into the store and buy one it seems so easy to take that long growth process for granted.

When I do get the right to marry the love of my life, for real

I will have watched it grow

Felt the struggle for that previlidge

I will never take it for granted

I know that I am ok

and I am strong

and less and less people have a fear of me and my love and my family, hurting their children of all things

I'm not angry about it

I'm passionate and willing to watch the process

to appreciate the change

I'm simply living honestly and by doing that helping to lessen the fear

helping to spread the love
.

The world keeps getting better

One Supreme Court Justice, one bee and one gay marriage at a time.

This is such an interesting post....households, gardens, bees, marriage equality, politics

It's all the same really

just shows up in different forms

Choose love over fear

It makes for a much happier day

an emerald weekend

a moment of quiet

in a weekend of wild family fun.

A good reminder to stop and enjoy the view

so you don't miss the beauty

The heavy rock

So if you scroll down just a wee bit and read my post from this morning you will see ...

me in bliss.

Then

Bam!

.....up it comes again
the most annoying of situations
bubbling around.
It's not in my veins
not making me sick
but it sure is persistent
This test, if you will.

Like a tennis match

back and forth

back and forth

I find it,
that peace.

and just when I let my guard down

I am tested with the ick of life.

I guess that is all part of the process.

I'm holding on much more tightly then I have before
the angry stuff only bubbles up a bit
and then I spray some love on it and I watch it diffuse
This may be the end of an era
The last Karmic squeeze
My chance to put an end to the cycle.

It is about being wholly me.


I gain the freedom that comes with saying difficult things.
and with feeling uncomfortable
The ultimate freedom that comes when you refuse to compromise your morals.

This is ready to end
I refuse to let it swirl
I refuse to accept the toxicity
I refuse to bite

and I will be nice.
I will be polite.
but I will be firm
and they will get a dose.

inspiration flows

Today is a good day.
things are clearing
happiness is moving forward
and I am stuck in awe of my life
I can get to this place so quickly now and I work to maintain it through out the day

last night I feel asleep in my daughters bed
with her arms around me
I woke up to her cuddling in my bed beside me
After breakfast she asked me to hold her and rock her
she is like a dumpling
round cheeks
brimming smile and eyes that are full of it
I love her so much
my little cherub angel girl

My son is getting so big
He still asks if he can be my "baby camodo dragon"
So I build him a nest and he cuddles up and makes baby dragon nosies
as he is wrapped up by a blanket and my curled up knees
He is still my baby boy
and I can feel his love radiate

My children show each other such kindness
such love

really, like us all
it is when they are off balance
tired or hungry
or hormonal
that they get grumpy and bumpy
and we talk too tough
or too loud or with out compassion
but we own our mistakes and our shortcomings
we own our humanness
we say we're sorry
and love eachother so well

My beautful wife is amazing
she is the best person I know.
She is thoughtful
considerate
and true to the core
I am blessed to be by her side
I am blessed to be able to parent with her
no matter how hard it gets or how far I fall from this place we are tight
and we have made a promise
to be good to each other
and to be sure that our children always feel safe
to be sure that they know we are here
and that they are ok
no matter what.
My life is amazing
I work hard at it
but when you see the beauty in the results it is easy to keep at it
I am having total gratitude at the moment
an inner peace
that makes me understand what "they're" talking about when "they" say inner peace.
It is consuming
and the ultimate comfort
It is being filled up with light.
It is so wonderful
Have a beautiful day

a beautiful rainy afternoon

Some days you just feel like you nailed it!

A cozy dry house amid hard rain

Fresh baked brownies, healthy ones made with fresh sweet potato puree and whole wheat flour and deep, dark cocoa powder and they actually taste good

two happy kids

a little scooby-doo

and a big pot of ziti and italian sausage on the stove

hmmmm

full bellies and low blood pressure

an unusually calm and perfect afternoon

what a pleasure...

today I do feel blogtastic

may it continue on all the way to bedtime

tiny birds songs will save my soul

Do you know how sometimes those things creep in
under your skin and they are just circumstances
and you know you should not let them get to you

it is a practice of turning them away letting them float around without bothering you

knowing they will be non issues soon

the practice of being a mindful human is hard

But I am determined to let my spirit take over those humanly concerns

I will go for a run on freshly rained on side walk
listen to the birds
enjoy the cool air
welcome the beautiful fresh sunshine
and tell all annoyances to piss off

have a beautiful beautiful day!

Tuesday Train

I am feeling so appreciative for my life today.

I have so many wonderful blessings.

and I found tiny watermelons growing in our garden

awe has been inspired from a crazy watermelon vine

Monday Morning...not on a train to anywhere

oh those funny little tests

when you're waking up to a glourious slept in Monday

because your wife got up
and made coffee in the french press
for you
and then feed, dressed packed lunches..took the kids to school and walked and fed the dog


ahhhhh beauty...and your phone was turned off so no waking up to the ring

just as the day feels perfect you check your voicemail to

FIVE messages already by 11am

THREE of which are big, huge pains in the ass

one of which is sooo sweet

and one of which will eventually nurture your soul.

It all levels out in the end I suppose

but a big note to self..don't check those messages until you are awake enough to deal with what they may contain

well

they can't bring me down

I'm gonna kick ass today

Have a rockin Monday

Circle of Life

Once there was someone who taught me about birth

Who taught me about power

Who told me I could do anything

Who helped me believe

In a blanket of safety that I could do anything

I think she thought she was only allowing me to remember all that I already knew

and she was right

but...in this life had I missed her teaching I would've missed all that I already knew

and without her I would no doubt have missed the most amazing experience of this life

I was given a great gift by my midwife

The space to feel and know my own power

The room to remember and own it

The time to allow it to unfold as it should have

As it did

And great, deep respect for the process of birth

She is in my life now for many other reasons

but today I would like to thank the her before she was my friend

the her that openly supported me and my partner with no reservations

She may have only been the holder of the key

but she gave it to me and without that gift

I would not be me now

Thank you for passing on the wisdom

The ripple only swells and continues to grow

Remember

and thanks

birth

beauty unfolding

a process so important

layer by layer

opening slowly

for new, sweet life to arrive

healing

changing

powerful work

perfectly timed

a pleasure to witness

such deep strength

such glorious beauty

pure love arising

may her sweet life be blessed

great potential

On my way back to the studio
hoping for a miraculous afternoon of painting

and rain

In Peace

Times comes and go.
Ebb abd flow
fast and steady
creaky and timid
steady in the changes
ready fro the turns
savoring each space as present
on down the road
being sure not to mistake where I am for where I've been or where I'm going
knowing that the ride is infinite and everchanging
evergrowing
big and powerful
wide and long
over and under and most importantly right straight through the center.
Fearlessness to forge on ahead with no reservations about what will show
knowing that even if it makes no sense
it will
trust

TRUST
SPIRIT
LOVE

LOVE
SPIRIT
TRUST

Continue on
with eyes open
heart open
mind open
arms open
breath steady
in awe
and gratitude.
There is always something within reach to inspire awe
to regain that connection
breath is the easiest
heart beat
fingers
toes
just as a newborn inspires awe
so should our bodies
amazement
and gratitude daily
a pledge
a sacred contract
total safety
in that knowing
like a child in it's mothers arms nursing and falling asleep
that knowing that one is protected by something much bigger
like the mother is creator and keeper of the infant
spirit is that to us
the sky becomes our blanket
keeping us safe and warm and knowing that we are taken care of that there will be warm milk and a warm body to hold us as we mature and grow.
Until we no longer need her. Mother earth. When we have learned all we need from this life and from her, we grow up and move away
on to our next place

the path from here to there is being well traveled

Being in it.
That juicy flow.
That greater understanding.
More and more often.
Finding books that show up unannounced with information.
Studying
my state of awareness
having a dialouge between the brain , the thinker and the knower.
Learning to trust the knower
feeling peace with that wisdom and begining to trust that it is all inside of me
Inside of all of us
Things are boundless when we can tap into that
It comes in waves
This state of absolut knowing
it is blissful when it is in totality
I am taking moments to appreciate that I can be here
Making that pathway from here to there well traveled
familiar and easily accesible
I may even plant little flowers along the path
It is mine and i am ready to own it.

dusk on Cocoanut

This is one of those times
that I feel complelled to write
with no idea of what will come out.
~Superheroes~
~super doggies~
"sit on your butt please
it's time to transition to books and chill out
it gave me a fruit freeze
don't drink it, it's gonna give you a fruit freeze
fruit freeze please don't drink it
please don't drink. Superheroes...uhh uu Li.
you need a super hero calm down
I'm going to ask one more time to come to books. Jack please make a choice about books.
ok ready
right now we can do two book if everyone is being behaved
what do you think those dogs name are?
I think this is skitty
that one's bad and that one furry.
ok, lots of different possibilities.
But mom that one kind of looks like a cat.
do you know what that one is?
it looks like a poodle.
it is.
that one looks like a bull dog.
good dog
bad dog
yeah, we don't say that in this house though.
We're not going to use that word with Deeyzl,
bad dog.
we don't say that word.
Hey Mom, that one kind of looks like Alice.."

ahhhhh

book time has begun
nice work settling them down Mama!

If you, the reader couldn't tell
as I sat down to write it was the begining of the other Mom doing book time with the kids...I just started transcribing what was said . I felt like the chick in the court room typing like a mad woman.

I can't wait to go back and read it
Goodnight All
May your storytime be blessed!

play-ger-ism

I got this in an e-mail and something said...put it up on your blog it is another form of liquid vision, just translated into concrete items

I really liked it

have a happy day!!!!

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in
> > > a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
> > >
> > > A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front
> > > of him.
> > >
> > > When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty
> > > mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
> > >
> > > He then asked the students if the jar was full.
> > >
> > > They agreed that it was.
> > >
> > > The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar
> > > He shook the jar lightly.
> > >
> > > The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
> > >
> > > He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
> > >
> > > They agreed it was.
> > >
> > > The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
> > >
> > > Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
> > >
> > > He asked once more if the jar was full.
> > >
> > > The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'
> > >
> > > The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the
> > > entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between
> > > the sand.
> > >
> > > The students laughed..
> > >
> > > 'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to
> > > recognize that this jar represents your life.
> > >
> > > The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your
> > > health, your friends and your favourite passions---and if everything else
> > > was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
> > >
> > > The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and
> > > your car.
> > >
> > > The sand is everything else---the small stuff.
> > >
> > > 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room
> > > for the pebbles or the golf balls.
> > >
> > > The same goes for life.
> > >
> > > If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never
> > > have room for the things that are important to you.
> > >
> > > Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
> > >
> > > Spend time with your children.
> > >
> > > Spend time with your parents.
> > >
> > > Visit with grandparents.
> > >
> > > Take time to get medical checkups.
> > >
> > > Take your spouse/partner out to dinner.
> > >
> > > Play another 18 holes of golf
> > >
> > > There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
> > >
> > > Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.
> > >
> > > Set your priorities.
> > >
> > > The rest is just sand.
> > >
> > > One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer
> > > represented.
> > >
> > > The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'
> > >
> > > The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem,
> > > there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.
> > >
> > >

* may I add....a golf ball...

take time to nourish YOUR spirit
to make YOU happy.
> > >

Sweet Boy!

Well...
sometimes
being impulsive is good!

Welcome Deeyzl

the newest member of our family!

The post that started with .."arrgghh"

Arrgghh

I have nothing to write

well, not really

I'm, guessing it's about that time.

Not grumpy...

Not overwhelmed.....

No, this month it is in the form of no impulse control.

This morning I HAD to cut my hair...myself....all crazy like as we were getting the kids ready for school.

Then I almost made a stop at the humane society because I just HAD to have a dog...today

of course all week I've talking myself out of that kind of responsibility.

Next, I ALMOST stopped at the car dealership to "look around" and "check out" financing for that new jeep I've been trying to manifest.

Impulisve today? YEP.

Well, thankfully my hair turned our GREAT

and my patient wife didn't agree about the dog or the car shopping... for today anyway.

Now I'm safely at home with no new impulsive urges.

So...that is my story

I think I'll go do something safe like dishes or laundry.

crystal waters

Continuing on down the river

ready for a deep dive to the bottom

looking up through clear waters into the distorted sky above

sunshine filtering down

no panicing

I can breath down here

I am a mermaid

but I'm back up in time for breath anyhow

It is lightening to swim through these waters

I learn of the sea

new forms

new life

a new feeling on my skin

I am surrounded by pearls hidden within rough and unsightly shells

I know they are there

waiting for me

to open when I'm ready

but there is no rush down here in the sea

the salt water is enough for me

the sunshine sustains me

I am happily splashing around enjoying the sparkle of my scales

the flip of my tail

the smile on my face

I am transformable

simply morphing into new places and experiences

I am salty sunshine

and crystal skies and water

I am attracted to these things

I am human

being

summer time and the living is easy

Sometimes we need to remember how important it is to sweat.
a long exhustive sweat that rids our body of funk.
It is with this vision that I am ready to embrace the hot Florida summers that are on their way.
The combination of salty sweat, coarse sand under foot and a soak in salty seas somehow replenishes the colds of winter
The bronzed skin of summer
the extra kick of vitamin D
the blue skies and warm breezes
I will no doubt retreat into the modern day gift air conditioning
but when I am among the elements I will remember to delight in them
Like a hot shower in the winter
I will enjoy a cool one in the summer
fresh cold melon
late sunsets
after dinner trips to the beach for a "summertime" bath
This I will embrace.

simple pleasures

A simple sharing of a simple pleasure...

a very hot, long shower

and a shower puffy thing full of Dr. Bronners Peppermint soap.

It can really change a life.

Wake Up Time

Sometimes it is time to clean out the fridge.....

if you put off too long.....

you may wake up to someone saying "Mag, I need your help!"

You may respond with "what is it?"


She may say "IT FINALLY HAPPENED!" in a panicy voice

You may think " Oh no, she found a rat in our breakfast!"

and then you grooggily walk into the kitchen to find that the refridgerator door has just fallen off the hinges and she is holding the whole door in her hands!

Then you may say ...hmmm

and are forced to clean out the whole fridge in order to lay it down and reassemble it with new hardware!

Luckily it was pretty empty and today was my publix day so I have yet to fill it with fresh, healthy foods and drink. So...in compleation of our spring cleaning we were pushed into having a spakely, fresh, fridge that will close properly! (I hope, it's still on it's back in the middle of the kitchen)



It's been one of thoses mornings....but I'm sure it will all flow out as it should!

All Grown Up

Well
Now

Here I sit

in a clean house

all springed out.

I just got my permission slip from myself to be me.

now I've been doing a pretty good job,

but sweeping out those old cobwebs and dust gives one a chance to throw out old ideas that no longer suit us or serve us well.

So, there.....they are out to the trash.

and yes, I CAN decorate my furniture with puffy paint if I want to!

Maybe that is why I've been staying up late....because I can.

because I'm the grown up and I make the rules. It really fun once you get into it.

FREEDOM

I'm glad I remembered to appreciate that.

All of those years spent wishing I could do what ever I wanted.

Waiting to grow up.

I have.

and sometime, I may just eat doughnuts for dinner,

if only because I can.