The Slamming of Doors

When did my sweet little baby boy get old enough to need to slam doors?

To grasp for independence?

His own sense of self?

When did he get old enough to write letters to the tooth fairy?

I suppose he is getting ready to enter that seventh year...

you know ..become a first grader

become himself

I will take all of those hugs and cuddles as I can

the ones that come at the end of hard day of fighting for what is right!

Ok...I am not kidding when I tell you that at the end of this post I heard "Mommy, come here, I need you." So I go into his room. "It's stuck" he says with big eyes and a sweet face, about the door that he has been slamming in response to me asking him to write his grandfather a thank you note for a lovely day they have spent together. I mean, this after the actual sticking of fingers in his ears to let me know that he is not listening. "You're forcing me to do this and I already told him thank you" he argues about the note. So I calmly help him fix the door jam so that it will close properly. " "Can you leave?" he asks after the door is fixed. "Ok" I say and he returns to his grumpy, defiant state of being...with a gentle glimpse of toddler left in there somewhere, he shuts the door and disappears into his own space. At least it is still under my roof and he is not peeling out at midnight.

Oh the sweet joys of parenthood. I vow to enjoy it all!

Ok... better still...so 15 minutes goes by and he emerges

"Mom , can I play my game now?"

"Well, we have to talk first," I say

"about what?" he says

"the slamming of doors." I say

" I wasn't slamming the door Mom, just closing it, so you would be surprised." he says

"surprised by what?" I ask

"the thank you note I wrote." he replies

" the thank you note?" I ask

"yes,."he says

"may I see it?" I ask

" well, it's already sealed in the envelope he says." with a smile

ahhhhhh, my sweet, little boy remains

and it was all sealed up on his desk in his room waiting to be mailed.

"That's awesome that you wrote that all by yourself!" I said, "but, it's time to take your bath now." I say

"Ok Mom." he says and begins to take off his clothes.

Time Travel

This very potent time of year has rolled in again.

Surprised by the force of the cycle

Excited by all of the potential

All of the forward movement

Like standing up on the crest of wave and realizing that you have just found your balance and can breathe for a while...still braced for the subtle shifts of the currents below

underneath all of this

The rain
thunder that started as sweet, light flashes
that started with big pink clouds
that started with sticky humidity

Thankful for the clearing powers of the rain

It's ability to nourish, feed, and cool

To quench a thirst
Renew,
Refresh,
Recharge

Now, it is pounding


and pooling into streams

that touch something and spread
and pour until

it reaches the earth and is it absorbed

and then quietly distributed in no rush at all

in the warm, quiet earth underneath all of this

Happy Monday

Oh yes, the beginning of the week.

So new and not the weekend it is.

Ready to step forward with these new shiny shoes.

Ready to make an impact and feel the wind on my cheeks.

As I move forward through this place.

I remember as a child wondering if we were all just having a big dream together

hmmm.......that was a pretty good thought for a seven year old

because sometimes it really feels that we are

I wonder where we will be when we wake up?

As a child I imagined it was on a small white cot with no blankets....all of us in a huge room sleeping on these cots.

Maybe now I will imagine us all invisible being the sky above, looking down on our bodies as we dream this dream.

I can imagine more I guess because I have seen more than I did at 7.

I wonder what I will imagine at 80?

Last Year's Post

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Be Strong

Be Strong

For it is within you

The fibers of your muscles will grow

if challenged.

Be Strong

Your heart will work for you

pumping life through your veins

care for it well.

Be Strong

you are in charge of your thoughts

no one else can get into your mind unless you grant them access

Be Strong

it is all within you

we are all able to be

exactly who we chose to be

Be Strong

for when you can not do it on your own

rest assured that those who love you will be there

and you will always be surrounded

with exactly what you need.

Be Strong

be yourself, completely and your life will shine with brilliance

Be Strong

against all odds, use your gifts..they were given to you for a

reason...

Be Strong

and have a beautiful day, full of gratitude!

Kitchen Sink

Really now

Each time I think I have been blown away by something I get another dose.

This time unspeakable kindness, a gesture of such heartwarming proportions I can barely breathe from the sheer amount of gratitude that is filling my lungs.

It is like being at the beginning ride or the end of a marathon

Knowing that it will simply shift into something else

but I am sure to stop and bend down and smell the sweet perfume of these roses

Give thanks for each cell of my body each wave of my spirit each moment that should not be washed by.

The knowing that nothing is in vain, even if it takes a while to show up.

And can I vouch for the power of the moon?!!!!

When you call in the forces of the wind it is no joke....things move fast

and there is no mistaking the correlation.

So, deep within the hodgepodge of this post is story unfolding just exactly as it should.

I am so glad that I listened to those three little birds regardless of the circumstances

Even while cursing at my spiritual guides with frustration and tears...I followed the guidance and pushed on farther and like a wave crashing down, all of the pressure was released

and now I stand in the wake, stunned and engulfed in the golden, glistening light of the sun.

Today will be a great day!

hot bath

I am putting it all in the hot bath tonight

filling it with all that doesn't serve me

all that needs to soak it's way out

leaving me refreshed and relaxed and so put back together

I am climbing this mountain and know that the other side is near

remembering to look back at all of the hills and mountains I have climbed before

knowing they life will be sure to continue sending them

they are hard

and that means I am alive

and I am grateful for that....and looking forward to the next green valley

and I am not writing about the bath anymore

maybe I just needed to soak in the page a bit.

naaaa I'm taking a hot bath as well!