swim in the blueness

a deep, dark blue
so certain
so sure

sturdy
strong
positive.

a dive down deep
takes us there
sparkling under the water
like tiny flecks of silver
twinkling about
moving in liquid
rushing past our open eyes
wetting our skin and hair
and one with the blood that rushes through our veins
the same blue
the same mystery
the same magic

we swim
kicking with powerful legs
powerful lungs
powerful arms
and good
red hearts
pumping to sustain us
and allow us to feel life deeply.
swim on.

TATTOO TOTEM

bringing it up strong
with the force of the wind
energy streaming in from the sun

twisting and turning in playful magic

swirling through each day

revisiting the spot of knowing

holding strong
and
steady

truth and trust
at the base of my spine
love in the middle
and God at the top

my tattoo totem

Good Night

Return to blue
that calm
peace
tranquil
and flowing
cool
gentle
mine.

space
quiet
appreciation
and
gratitude

breathe
in out

and back again

a weekend journey
full of fun destinations

landing home

solid
footing
all
together
ready for a sweet
summer
Sunday
night's
sleep

Yum! Yum! Yum!

Sometimes the simple pleasures are enough to bring a tear of joy to your eye.

Like, Ben & Jerry's ice cream in a pint off a counter top with a 3 year old dressed up like a princess and 1 spoon. Total bliss can be found in tiny daily moments. I vow to take them in!

For my Friend

I know this woman whose eyes harbor a world of light and love.
They glisten in the moon light and dance around the fire.
The warrior has been awakened and she is almost finished with the battle.
She feels strong
and empowered.
For once the last dragon has been slayed the magic flows in like a wave.
It sparkles all around. Encircling her head.
Her presence is big and she was chosen by spirit to have her head up close to the heavens.
Her feet firmly on the ground. She can hear the voices of the angels up there and brings their soft, loving, guidance down to earth.
Her height is part of her glory
She knows that now
owns it
walks proud
as she should
She has been chosen to guide
and she will
with grace
and the knowledge that she is good.
She has been crowned with the power of self.
She will trust herself
as she is scooped up by the great Mother spirit and the great Father spirit
She will feel the universal, unconditional steady pulse of love that she is.
There is a new, loving presence that surrounds her.
Protects her
and reminds her to hear only the beautiful words
As she listens
she heals
and fills up with that magic light and strength
she is one with the beauty of herself
and it feels so good.
She is brave
It is hard to take that leap
the leap of faith if you will,
but once you begin the process there is no turning back
it continues to build and the lightness you feel will offer that peace
the peace that you have been searching for
sleep well in that restful place
of comfort and knowing.
Namaste my friend.

awareness

Simplicity in direct intentions.

I continue to be amazed at how quickly a transformation can take place when you simply make space for it.

Awareness easily difuses frustration, impatience.

Surrender to what is happening .

do not try to make it something else

it becomes easy

like a release after a long, deep breath

I feel refreshed
rejuvinated
and excited to pass through this moon

Today

Today i was defeated. By impatience.

I was not at all Zen, or at peace or feeling the love.

But that is ok.

I guess that is part of the lesson.

To remember your humaness.

Summer Heat

It is hot
I am remembering to pretend i am in a health inducing sauna
sweating out old funk
A tropical oasis
warm tropical winds
cool water close by to soak in
fresh fruits and water to replenish myself
warm sun to give me joy
a body that works well
a system to cool myself
I embrace the sweat
the heat
the summer and the season I am in
If all else fails put on some Bob Marley and enjoy a cool cocktail and be happy to not be stuck in a gray, snowstormy muck with no power and no heat.
Eat a grilled fish sandwich by the bay and enjoy the view the late sunsets
and the fact that people wait all year to come here for a week.
Blessed in sweat and warmth I am.
Groovin to the summer jam.

The Flow

Oh....

the plan

get up early

pack lunches for kids

walk dog

feed kids

drop off at camp

go to gym

go to studio

a perfect day

but wait...

during the dog walk you notice your throat is a bit tight

hmmmm.....funky stuff been going round our house

The other Mama is on antibiotics with a VERY sore throat

so, even though my energy feels fine...

I decide that I must not push on through

I must heal this funk before it blooms.

So after drop off I pick up a ginger kombucha...my new favorite elixer...

and come home to take a very hot detox shower and get in Pj's and rest in a quiet house.

It sounds so blissful to write it, but all I want to do is go work out really hard and get in my studio.

but I will not.

It has taken me 32 years to realize that when you get that first small signal from your body...you stop and rest

and I have the luxury of no kids to tend to until four.

So I will

Really

and wake up funk free a full of energy

Maybe I will read and expand my mind with out using any physical energy.

I will be flexible and in the flow

I will
I will
I will

Happy Surprises

Sometimes you find yourself in place you would not expect and are unsure of how you got there at that particular moment.

Then you run into a friend (MamaBird) who, like you has no children in tow and you....

walk around the corner for a totally unplanned, happy girls lunch date. Something that you both must have needed and totally enjoyed.

You stay for a long while chatting and catching up.

What a very happy surprise.

Sometimes the fates really think you need a lunch date with a good friend. I go to Dillard's maybe twice a year...what are the odds of finding each other there?

Thanks for a great lunch Mama!

We'll have to do that more often.

Happy Sunday

What a perfectly unplanned weekend.

A day splashing with our kids at a pretty perfect pool on the water, only our family of four.

A dinner at home...everyone picked their favorite dinner choice and ate our full.

A happy late night on the deck under the summer stars deep in grown up conversations and plans for our future.

A Sunday morning, crazy and wild. Tamed by a trip to the local aquarium, picnic lunch and a visit to Nanny's while the Mom with a cold stayed in bed in peace and quiet.

Concluding in a perfect family dinner out at our secret Oyster bar that has a great kids menu and good beer on tap. ...and finally...a last minute stop home to pick up our big puppy and take him for his first romp at the dog park.

All sweaty and tired we arrive home to bedtime tubs, a crashed out dog and two spent Moms who are looking forward to our last slice of this unplanned weekend evening with two kids way asleep in bed.

It's nights like these that we are happy to have cable tv, comfy couches and hot showers.

Life is so good....and we are so grateful! Happy Sunday

* just for the record, this is being written before 8pm, and the kids are in no way "way asleep" yet. I am at the computer and the other Mom is getting their jammies on etc. but...they WILL be "way asleep" sometime soon. (let us pray) and then I will take on that comfy couch, hot shower, cable tv...etc.....just so you didn't think life was really THAT perfect, even in blog land..

LBI

I sat.
quietly on the dock.
feeling the salt water rush and splash under me.
My curiosity moved me to lie down with my eyes over the space between two of the old, grey, salt worn boards that made up the dock. I curled my toes under and let them hold up my outstretched legs.
Peering down into the water I saw the foamy masses floating by. The clumps of seaweed with tiny little barnacles.
I could feel the heat move in masses with the bay breezes.
My blonding hair was blowing gently. Beginning to mat from a day out in the salt air.
It was summertime. On the Jersey shore.
I remember feeling so bored on those long summer days.
I took sailing classes and did swimteam. I took art classses and scooped ice cream in the local parlor for extra money.
But the days always seemed very long.
Now, I think back and only remember the barefeet that carried me everywhere. Except into the movie theater. That was pretty much the only place that required shoes on that island.
I may have only had one pair of flip-flops for the whole summer. I hardly wore them at all.
I ate cheesesteaks and pizza
and drank birch beer.
For lunches at home it was microwave hot dogs or spagettio's. The first lunches I knew how to "cook" myself.

I remember walking on the pebbles that made up our yard and taking most of our showers outdoors. There was always green shampoo and shaving cream in there.

We would eat fabulous dinners
clams, mussels, big, fresh sliced tomatoes.
Sweet corn on the cob
The days stayed light late and we would bike or walk to the ice cream shop for dessert. There was always a line out the door. Freshly tanned and showered people, waiting to choose their flavor.

We rode our bikes everywhere. Total freedom to explore.
There was a five and ten store to buy candy . It smelled of plastic beach toys and inner tubes.
There, we could get anything we needed for summer.

In the mornings there was a bakery.
My parents would often bring home muffins. Huge muffins or fresh bagels for breakfast. The yummy kind of breakfast that wore off by 10 and had you planning lunch already.

We had a hammock out on the back porch. I would sit in it and watch TV. Music videos. Trying to identify with something as I grew from girl to teenager.
The songs that were on then still remind me of summer when I here them.

This place was it's own paradise where you could walk from the ocean to the bay in 20 minutes. Sun rising at the ocean. Setting at the bay. You could crab and clam right of of the edge of the shoreline. Seagulls would sing to us during the day and the buzz of window fans would lull us to sleep at night.
Even if I did not appreciate it then, I do now.
Wonderful summers at the jersey shore.
Thanks Mom and Dad

Oh Goodie

Oh, goodie
it's time for a post
I am not yet inspired but pushing on.
I picked orange after viewing a beautiful color walk.
So maybe, a little inspired.

A sunny day at the beach with so many Mamas and babes I couldn't keep them straight.

15 kids in our crew I think.
Whew...
more coming too.

So, I guess this post is about how I feel blessed
to be surrounded by so much love
and such great friends

I feel compelled to mention that my farthest away friend who I visit in dream time alot
met me for a thick day of snowfall last night.
I woke up so shocked that there was so much snow in June.

I know it's cooler over there, but really?

I'm so literal.

Thank you all for being my friends

I feel so full and surrounded

even as it changes and the landscape of time slides by

it remains strong
and circular
and I feel the comfort in the shifting
knowing that it always gets good again
even after a period of struggle or adjustment

we are good people
and so lucky to be here
to watch each other
and ebb and flow
season after season

for myself

Today I promise to make room for myself.
To finish my common care taking of others early in the day
and flesh out a large chunk
of self care time

I will create something wonderful

in joy

and be happy and inspired doing so

Circle of Women

Women gather in circles

to the rhythm of ancient drums



to celebrate
to birth
to mother
to weep
to laugh
to eat
to hold each other close
to heal

we offer each other the healing salve of friendship
of common experience

weaving a tapestry of our own traditions
a secondary family for our children

each added fiber
making the bond stronger
fleshing out our story
told in vibrant colors

this beautiful swirl of love fell in line with the winds
as the wish of a community to be born emerged
we continue on
years later
growing outwardly
growing inwardly as well
and we have quietly promised to remain

many hands are present

to help and offer guidance

abundance surrounds us

in the spirit of love I give thanks
for this circle
and the promise
that we will continue to remember

how to honor each other

and how to keep the flow of the juju

in our veins

our spirits

and our hearts

Thank you

It's electric

Today I wait
for the electrician
Mid - Sunday night dinner
the stove stoped working all the way.
Warm but not hot
The microwave and fridge went kurplunk.
hmmmmm
Ran a cord from the living room to the fridge in hopes that the outlet in there was on.
yes...! We saved all of the new groceries
Air conditioning...out. (but it's cool and overcast)
kid's room lights out
however, the computer, water heater, washer, dryer
and television work.
I guess you get what you need
and we were pushed out the door at 6:45 last night to walk to our new local pizza joint.
One family dinner out
one great Sunday night
and one Monday of FINALLY addressing our 1935 bungalow wiring issues.
Here's to keeping the avenues for the flow up to date
and to the last sliver of juice that will keep our food cold until we can use the stove to cook it.
I guess tonight we will be using the grill!

Friday Morning

big, hot, cup of coffee

yes, from the press

in a mug decorated with sesame street stickers.

waking me up to this happy Friday!

Potential

As I sit
thinking about the future of the day
all I can hear is great potential.
where will I be tonight that I am not today?
Moving forward
growth and learning more.

S l o w i n g
d o w n

enough to appreciate all of those tiny lessons.

Those subtle shifts in thought or perception
or understanding
are waiting to light me up
to turn me on
to get me feeling

believing

and understanding more.

I give great thanks for the opportunities of today

for the gifts that I will receive and the ones that I will give.

Let's dance in the delight of each day's treasures.

random thoughts

...sometimes the best argument for using the french press for real, good, coffee is when you open the top to the conventional coffee pot to add the water and "pre-set" it the night before so you will wake to the smell of it and you see a cockroach peeking it's head up over the edge..... way to keep me on the "will not compromise quality for convenience path!"

...sometimes the best way to ensure 30 minutes of walking outside a day with no excuses is to adopt a very sweet, big dog who needs two walks a day to keep him feeling happy and settled... way to keep me in shape Deezyl!

...sometimes when you're falling asleep at night thinking, "boy, I need to spend some good quality time with my son, one on one, we"ll have to plan a date.," you wake up to a little boy with a cold just bad enough that he shouldn't go to school and just mild enough that you can fit in three rounds of ocean bingo and a huge floor puzzle in the middle of the afternoon." way to make it happen little man!

....sometimes when you're wondering about all of the running around, your "tiny dancer" all dressed in costume for her recital says she needs to practice after the photo shoot at the dance studio. Even though it's bedtime, you watch in amazment at her natural rhythm, groove and total pleasure of performing. Way to get Mommy all excited to see you do your big show on Saturday little ballerina!

...sometimes when you sit down at your computer after dropping off the kids you look up to a small note that simply says I heart you. ...way to fill me up for the day babe! I love you too.

and sometimes all it takes is renewing your gym membership to make you feel like you can do anything and you have a free pass to the best spa in the whole world!... Way to appreciate the post weight training steam room, hot tub and sauna that you now have unlimited access to.

Thank you for this beautiful day! I intend to enjoy every minute.

Cornstarch Love: blogtastic!

Thank you to Mama C and Daddy B for the great idea!

2 kids, two boxes of cornstarch and some food coloring make for hours of Sunday at home fun (and some cool pictures)!

flow

I love it

when the flow is unstoppable

when it is so undeniable

so big

so powerful

so affirming

I love it when it washes over me

joy

and the knowing that good is happening.

tiny bubble

into the tiny bubble I slip

clean

round

hard to lock a gaze on

rainbow swirling

clear and floating

prepared for it to pop at any moment