The Nap

On the couch, with laundry folded waiting to be put away.

I allow myself this time to rest and respect my body's screaming need for another hour or two of rest today.

That moment of surrender.

grabbing a pillow and pulling up the fuzzy couch blanket over myself, fetal position.

Closing my eyes in the middle of the day.....

upon awaking I remember how, when I was pregnant I would nap, deeply

how when my babes were new I would nap with them, sweetly

how when they were two I would wait for them to nap, thankfully

and now, in my new time to myself, I too need a nap

maybe to make up for all of those days with none.

but I cherish it and today, say "thank you" to myself for allowing the quiet to prevail

to believe that I deserve it

to sweetly wrap myself up and say thank you to my body for all that it has done.

For all that it will do.

cycle ride

the power of breath.

the sound of the washing machine in the distance.

preparing to walk the dog,

my mental list

my awareness of my body....tired, sluggish but kind to itself

aware that as part of this intense cycle I will feel tired for about two more days

and then release,

then my favorite week...creative, juicy, optimistic,

then flow,

then back into caution, however next cycle will be more gentle, it is every other one that rocks me.

But, it is this knowing and awareness that keeps it from consuming me, becoming me.

Remembering that I am riding a wave and that there is a pattern to it all, a function

I am slow and easy today.

listening to what I need, water, stillness within the movement,

can you feel the disjointedness of this writing. That flow that I love so well, is lost on me today, but that is ok, because I know it is on it's way and I find joy in that sweet anticipation!

much better

One emotional roller coaster ride, one migraine and 2 excedrin later I am a new woman!

Thank you to the shamanic powers of pain killers.

I am ready for a fabulous, magical weekend!

approach with caution

One officially unannounced session of overactive hormonal sobbing complete.

Trying to find the lesson........

Hoping that it moved with it any and all toxins of the previous moon so that I may return to my happy, joyful, easy place. Whew...do not underestimate the power of a hormone!

Thank You

Thank you for this time today

for the awareness

for the feather

for the good sense to put myself where I want to be

for a l-o-n-g day

for the courage to wonder

for the unwavering belief

for the invitation

for the sunshine

for the peace

for the table full of books telling me, yes this is where you are supposed to be

for the gifts and the talent

for the flow

for my friends

for my family

for this blood flowing through my veins

for the choice

to be happy

for the choice

to choose love

EVERY SINGLE TIME!

Thank you for the practice!

I love you.

the practice

Creation

a slow present practice

a flow experience

being one

within the process


this is why I should not think when writing or painting

or living...really

being is so much better

when I am alone, I get there quickly, easily

but my practice is to find that place with distractions

to practice being in all situations

while I know this intellectually all of the time, I am learning to practice it more and more

I suppose that is why it is called a practice

The moving of heavy things

It begins that tickle in the throat

things that need to be said

even hard things

true things

rough things to hear

ugly things that have been carried around and need to land where they belong

put down

and cleared

allowed to exit

through that energetic passage of words

powerful words

that shift things and change things

words

create situations and diffuse them

words that shape our experiences and our realities

they can move heavy things

releasing them

leaving behind a rush of adrenaline which reminds of how powerful they were.

Stinging in the air, sitting there, hovering

with the potential to play over and over

doing any good?

I know not, but be sure of one thing....

they are no longer mine, they reside not within me

I have put them where they belong and my throat returns to health

The foundation has been poured with concrete for good boundaries and I reside safely within it's walls

Monday Morning Awakes Aware

The layers pile up

one

by one

sifting and sorting, creating a boundary

illusions

project themselves upon the walls

changing from ugly to beautiful

dancing in the light

challenges arise, like a constant stream of pebbles being pelted

duck.....to the left

then to the right

handle them well

be strong and unwavering

and watch as the issues remain theirs

you are not porous to the outside

you create your own beauty

you are one step ahead of yourself

that part of you that floats.

life is complicated and layered

and the more you understand

the more responsibility you wield

and the greater the gifts,

the more astonishing the beauty

this world is a multi-layered, simple, complex organism

and I am honored and humbled to be here now

The Present

A good swift run in the morning

a trip to the store to buy the fixings for a beautiful meal

a two hour session for me

a drive out to country to play with the cousins in a big pile of dirty goodness

an amazing house that has seemed to grow from a seed planted long ago

a celebration of the hard work that leads to beauty and

the bravery the allows love to blossom

the gift of being present in this life!

Spring Break for Me!

Today, the Thursday before my kids are home for a week of spring break
(which I am really looking forward to!)

I am taking an afternoon for myself. I am pushing through any feelings of guilt and going to the beach by myself for the afternoon.

This was the suggestion of my amazing wife who, thought that it would be a good idea for me to have some relaxation before the kids break began. Thank you for the suggestion babe! I'm sure it will be a very beautifully long and glorious three hours at the beach.

How lucky am I that I can just hop over to the beach....
that I have a supportive wife who thinks I deserve such time for myself
that I will allow this joy into my life
that today is a perfect, perfect day for the beach!

Peace.

Today I will write about all things good.
Trying this new way of keeping my mind positive and abundant.

Things that I did today that are good:

1. Ate a healthy breakfast
2. Was a sweet mother
3. Remembered the dance tuition check
4. Helped my son with homework
5. Let the dog ride in the car on the way to school
6. Helped a friend
7. Bought tickets to a concert for a fun date night
8. Did a killer workout
9. Took the dog for a walk
10. Managed a nasty situation with grace
11. Appreciated the butterflies
12. Planned a playdate for my kids
13. Took care of paperwork
14. Ate some greek yogurt
15. Did some marketing research
16. Helped my wife with her website
17. Was open to receiving
18. Took the time to write this post.

Nice, it is only 12:15!