Today

Today I sit

in silence

which is not really silent anymore.

It is rich with color

and impulses

that vaguely translate

but loosely,

Like a thin, sheer fabric that is barely touching your skin as it blows in the breeze, allowing you to see what is on the other side as it dances to the rhythm of the wind.


I sit with awareness.

a filter, if you will, for all thoughts

knowing that they are simply that,

thoughts.




I feel far away now, from becoming them or allowing them to become me.

And, once in a while I decide to remember my prior way of being, I may even try it on, like a suit or a costume. It is awkward and feels empty and hollow, like a shell with no one living in it.

Sometimes, it is good to return to that which you came from to remind you of how far you've come. To remind you why those ways no longer serve you. To remind you of the common experiences of so many in order to allow compassion over outrage. To remember that it is all a process.

And that may be the practice of being in the now, not wanting more, just being and seeing the complexity and simplicity at the same time.

And, as so often happens after finding this place of understanding, I will be squashed, reduced to the goo of the butterfly, to remember again how to transform within the cocoon. I am ready, and know as I type this to hold on, the next conraction is close and it will be powerful and it will be productive and so it goes, and so it goes, and so it goes.