Friday, February 11, 2011

I love it when that happens

Finding Joy

in tiny things may be the trick to it all.

Really slowing down and being...I have said it 100000000000 times and still I find myself stuck once in a while.

Then I remember to be underneath it all

As I write this the sun tries to shine through, reminding me it is there.

Now, in this quick moment I am excited to walk the dog. To find beauty in the reflections in the puddles.

Wonder in the gray...thick clouds

All the while hearing the birds, who may be quieter than on the sunniest of days but are singing beautiful songs none the less.

God is all ways present

you just have to look

even, deep into the gray

and find that glimmer of connection within yourself, and the blood begins to flow awake within your veins and you have consciousness within your eyeballs and you give thanks for your health and you fingers and toes and knees that work, your organs and mind and heart and suddenly you ARE just in the gift of love and beauty and divine oneness as trite as that sounds it is there, beneath the boredom and worry and judgement. It is the real stuff of who we are. And now, I vow to go honor it as I walk my dog on this dreary, beautiful Friday.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

rainy day

So, I went for the ride! A beautiful flow filled ride...for a couple of days anyway.
It was beautiful, expansive and magical.

Today, it is raining. I feel better now after a hot bath, nap, painting which I haven't done in a while. Of course there was lots of laundry, a dog walk, and light housework thrown in.

I don't love the rain, the gray days . I know this and am prepare to return to my pre-exsisting blissful state when the sun comes out again on Saturday or Sunday. I try to find sunshine in the gray days,,,,,,,but it is hard. So I give in sometimes, just being in it.

Well, my creative juice is low.....I think I will head out to get a coffee and sit in public and enjoy being out alone for a while before I pick up my sweet kids and begin the wild afternoon, homework, dinner, bath, bedtime part of the day.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Money, Sweat & Ginseng

Yesterday was the day,

I awoke from some sort of Shamanic nap

A new person of sorts

Filled with clear directives.

Put $100 in your wallet

Go for a run

Get some Ginseng.....then take it.

I did all of the above and feel as if each tiny particle of myself has changed, lightened, transformed.

Ahhhhh

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Remembering to ask!

Bring it!

That's all I have to say.

The money

The joy

The fun

I am aware.....I do the work

lots of love

blessings

respect

consideration

challenge...................on and on and on................now,

I am ready for that flow...

the kind that is big and huge

and makes you stand in disbelief of how good it is.

I am ready for more of the good

more of the great

believing I deserve it,

not feeling bad about wanting it.

I am owning it

arms open wide.....come on universe...let it rain down beauty so big that I am thrown up into the

sky exploding in a million ions of pure joy and gratitude.

I am asking for you to bring it!

and as a good friend of mine always says "I can take it!"

The magic of the moon

Today on this New Moon....I wait for an intention to show

I wait for the living blood to show.

I am patient with my mood, I recognize it's doom as a wave.

I allow it wash over me, knowing that it will take with it all of the doubt and worry and negativity of the last cycle, leaving a fresh clean slate upon which to play.

I welcome it all as I respect the play of the moon, the tides, the swirling irritability, the sore weight in my breasts.

Yesterday, I allowed myself to sit, quietly and imagined a red tent drawn tight over my head, inside and quiet with my sisters of the moon.

Then, I ignored the voice that told me I was lazy and not doing enough. The one that called me irresponsible and made my stomach feel flabby and unattractive.

I ate butter and chocolate and noodles with more butter. I ate a corned beef sandwich with coleslaw and rye bread because I needed it.....

I forgave my state and thanked it for whatever it was showing me.

That just continued to piss me off, but it was ok.

Today, I get ready to do yoga, care for this swirly body.

Tonight, I get ready to sit with my sisters in a circle, knowing that many of us are on that cycle....maybe I will set up a tent.

Maybe I will just serve chocolate and red wine and smile at the warmth of the circle.....and dance under the absence of the moons glow as we danced under it's fullness. Celebrating it, wherever it is in it's cycle and giving thanks for it's gifts, it's history and it's magical, powerful properties.